As any patriotic Canadian knows, the Caesar (or, as it is also known, the Bloody Caesar) is our nation's far superior answer to the Bloody Mary.
Much like a Bloody Mary, a Caesar has Worcestershire Sauce, pepper, hot sauce, and a celery garnish. However, instead of boring old tomato juice, we use CLAMATO JUICE, which makes it SO MUCH BETTER.
But despite the Caesar already being amazing, some people just couldn't leave well enough alone and started adding some super-weird shit to their drinks:
1. This Caesar, which comes with an entire lobster tail.
2. This wasabi Caesar, which comes with (duh) wasabi, a lime, and snow peas. SNOW PEAS, YOU GUYS.
3. This Caesar, which comes with not one but TWO kabanos sausages.
4. This Caesar, which comes with celery, olives, lemon, lime, asparagus, and — oh yeah, a grilled cheese sandwich, because you wouldn't want to forget that.
5. This Caesar, which comes with its own tiny hamburger, of course.
6. This Caesar, which comes with Mexican hot sauce and a pepperoni stick. Jesus H. Christ, it's served in a boot.
7. This Caesar, which comes with curly celery (that's a thing?) and its own pair of chopsticks. CHOPSTICKS. FOR YOUR DRINK.
8. This Caesar that comes garnished with mothereffing Cool Ranch Doritos.
9. This Caesar, which comes with a goddamned oyster.
10. This Caesar, which comes with a lobster claw, pizza wedge, and bacon because why the hell not.
11. These Caesars, which come with spring rolls, onion rings, hamburgers, grilled cheese, and holy mother of god what is even happening.
12. This chicken and waffle Caesar, because apparently you don't need a plate like an adult with dignity and self-respect anymore, no, we're just animals living in anarchy now.
13. And finally, this $60 (!!!) Caesar, which comes with hamburgers, chicken wings, onion rings, a pulled pork mac & cheese, and a brownie, and you can only order it if you share it with at least one other person, because OTHERWISE IT WOULD BE EXCESSIVE.
DRINK (AND EAT) UP, CANADA.
CORRECTION:
The wasabi Caesar from Brooklyn Warehouse comes with snow peas. A previous version of this story identified them as snap peas.