1. They were called b4-4 because there were three of them, and three comes before four. But lots of numbers come before four! Two, one, zero… What about negative numbers? Or fractions? This band could have been comprised of partial people, or negative vacuums of space. Be more specific with your math, b4-4.
2. Why is this small child wandering back alleys by himself?
3. Where are his parents?
4. Of course he doesn't have any money to offer the homeless man. He's not old enough to have a job.
5. Is he picking up a View-Master out of the trash?!
6. Where are his parents?!
7. He probably had a terrible fight with them and ran away from home. Go back to your house, little boy! Everyone is worried sick about you!
8. There were twins in b4-4, right? Are these them?
9. How are they moving and singing so perfectly in sync?
10. …Oh, it was a double shot of just one of the twins. I feel stupid.
11. Now a double shot of the other twin. That's a little confusing.
12. Here comes the third, non-twin member of b4-4. They all look very similar, though.
13. Puka shell necklaces, tank tops, and frosted tips: the official uniform of guys from the early 2000s.
14. For three guys from Thornhill, Ont., they really have the "California beach dude" look down.
15. The magical View-Master transports the little kid to the beach with b4-4? Why would someone throw that item in the trash?
16. Usually when someone throws a magical item in the trash, it's because it's cursed.
17. Isn't that the plot to at last one Goosebumps book?
18. That little kid isn't shocked at all by his magical transportation. He just immediately starts flirting with older women at the beach. Hey, you do you, kid.
19. "If you get down on me, I'll get down on you." B4-4 really mastered the art of the single entendre.
20. Their hair is very spiky.
21. Are touch football games a required part of every beach party?
22. That body builder is JACKED. Put down the weight and enjoy your day at the beach, dude!
23. Stop flexing for the beach babes, tiny child! Find a way home to your family!
24. Now all the girls are ditching b4-4's football game to go check out the small child's biceps.
25. Nobody seems to care that this child is at the beach with zero parental supervision.
26. But then, they're all trapped in some alternate universe created by a cursed trashcan View-Master, so they probably have other things on their minds.
27. B4-4 are not happy with the sudden loss of attention. Did they create this magical wonderland themselves?
28. Did they throw the View-Master in the garbage so nobody else would get to enjoy it? That's a little selfish.
29. "Going undercover/Gonna make you come tonight/Over to my house." I have absolutely no idea what b4-4 could be talking about here.
30. "It's a game of give and take to make it through." It's almost… too subtle, you know?
31. The small child has changed the View-Master and now b4-4 is dancing on a basketball court in the rain. You know, like you do.
32. And they're wearing crop-top vests? Oh, early 2000s fashion, how I missed you.
33. One of the twins' vests is orange so it looks like a life jacket. He's stylish and he won't drown!
34. Their breath is showing, so they're dancing on an outside basketball court at night, in the rain, in freezing temperatures. This is how injuries happen, b4-4.
35. That rain can't be good for their spiky hair, either.
36. Then it cuts to the band actually playing basketball, but they're wearing football jerseys. Where were these jerseys during the football agme?
37. The diminutive child once again isn't bothered by the View-Master's magical powers and has joined in on the basketball game.
38. How is he better at basketball than everyone? He's, like, seven feet shorter than anyone else on the court.
39. The members at b4-4 seem shocked that someone could enter their mystical basketball court and make them look bad. Magic always has unintended consequences, guys.
40. Hoist with your own petard!
41. How did that kid dunk the basketball? That's not physically possible.
42. Why am I applying real-world laws of physics to this magical View-Master paradise?
43. "If you get down on me, I'll get down on you/I will do anything that you want me to." I want you to help this child get home to his mother, b4-4!
44. The View-Master has now dressed the child in a suit and a faux-fur pimp hat.
45. All the girls are now flocking to the child and his yellow sports car. They realize he's, at most, 12 years old, right? He can't drive!
46. It looks as though b4-4's reign over this supernatural plane of existence has come to an end.
47. Oh thank goodness! Now that the child has bested b4-4 in basketball, he's allowed to return back to his home world - where, we can only hope, he will go home to his family with newfound love and respect for all they do for him.
48. Aw, now the homeless man gets to hang out with b4-4, too!
49. I hope he knows how to play basketball.
50. Seriously, what could "Get Down" be about? If only the lyrics were clearer.
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