Whether it is psychiatrist ordered, therapist ordered, or even just self-ordered, we all need to get away sometimes. It's a crazy and stressful world out there, holidays are essential! But where should you go? If stress is what you're escaping, the last thing you need is a tourist death trap such as Disney Land or World, New York City, Washington DC, Rome, London, Paris, the Caribbean Islands, or even Cancun. So where do you go? Somewhere off the map where you can pick up some culture or more obscure sightseeing, while getting that much needed rest and relaxation. Follow this advice and you are sure to go home feeling a little saner for the time spent away.
Locations around the world!
1. Crazy Horse Memorial, Crazy Horse, South Dakota
While South Dakota has many attractions, the memorial for Crazy Horse is a great way to honor the true history of this great nation. In the words of the famous chief himself, "the red man has great heroes, too." and Crazy Horse was, for sure, one of them. While in South Dakota one might also choose to visit the old home of Laura Ingalls Wilder, Deadwood, The Corn Palace, Falls Park, Minuteman Missile National Historic Site, and of course Mount Rushmore. You probably should stop by since you're in the relative area anyway.
2. Crazy Spring Hollow, Missouri
Located in the far South of Missouri, is a fun little town called Crazy Spring Hollow. OK, maybe it's far more "little", than it is "fun". Since it is located in the heart of the Ozarks, it is a great place to go for some quiet time and catching up on your reading. Perhaps some Mark Twain for the 3 (or more) day rest and relaxation? Oh, did I forget to mention that Mark Twain National Park is just to the North and inside you'll find his birth place? A great site to see! Sadly you won't see his grave in the cemetery, also on site. He was buried up north in New York somewhere. Odd for a man so fond of writing about the mighty Mississippi. Though, I suppose with burial at river not likely being an option, being buried in his current city of living was the next best thing.
3. Loco, Oklahoma
Open land, quiet town, and not too far from where a couple of episodes of Supernatural took place, so you'd know if there was trouble here as Dean and Sam would have found it. But rest assured, it only sounds like a perfect location for an episode. With no ghosts roaming its dozen or so streets and only 150 residents (all living according to the US census), you can't get much quieter of a location for rest. If you do want to visit where those nearby episodes took place, while in the neighborhood, you might try day trips to: Oasis Plains, Guthrie, Garber, and Ketchum. Hey, how long before you gave up on finding Oasis Plains on a map? Starting to feel a little batty? Yeah, sorry about that. It's fictional. Like the show. So you're doubly good to visit Loco, Oklahoma. Just maybe pack some salt, iron and silver. Just precautions! Don't get so paranoid! (Geesh!) You must have been to Paranoid Peek, an upcoming destination, already.
4. Looneyville, West Virginia
Looneyville is located in the very west of West Virginia, and smack in the middle of nowhere. Seriously, go to Google maps, look it up and scroll out. Keep scrolling. I'll wait. Looneyville is sure to have the least amount of light pollution of anywhere short of the North or South Poles (More on them later, it's a promise!) so be sure to take a telescope. I also suggest a kettle, tea and a few books. Might I recommend some Silvia Plath, H.P. Lovecraft, Jack Kerouac, Edgar Allan Poe, or Virginia Woolf? No reason. They just have some great reads between them. You might even find you can relate to them and how honest they are with themselves and their readers.
5. Mád, Hungary
A great wine industry, numerous Jewish heritage sights, and breath taking Eastern European scenery in any direction you choose to look. This is a vacation for bringing a book and a camera. This retreat would be a great way to understand the impact of the Holocaust on Eastern European society. It's also a great way to go to Europe without going to typical "tourist" Europe. However, if Madrid, Paris, and Venice float your boat, they are most likely only a train ride away!
6. Mad River California
Want to see Northern California without getting caught in a tourist trap? Mad river is for you! Want a day trip to wine country? Sonoma and Napa are just a drive down the 101. Want to spend a day at the coast of the stunning Pacific Ocean? The coast is about an hour and a half out. However what Mad River is best for, is camping. Being surrounded by many of Northern California's National Parks, you have your pick of Redwood Reserves even if you just day trip them because you chose a hotel over a tent. (I don't blame you. Sleeping on the ground is anything but relaxing for me.)
7. Madagascar
Mostly because, why not? We'll start with Ranomafana National Park, which is claimed to be amazingly scenic and home to the charming (but endangered) golden lemur. After all, if you wait and watch long enough, they do like to "move it, move it". Ifaty provides, coast, a coral reef, and great fishing. The Avenue of the Baobabs does attract tourists from around the world, but it still might be worth a glance or two since you're there anyway. And finally, of course, the penguins! Wait. No. My editor is telling me that the only penguins you'll find in Madagascar, if any, would be in a zoo. Bummer. I suppose that's what I get for taking travel advice from a cartoon. Even if it is DreamWorks. Still worth the trip. Maybe. Before you go though, you might want to plan ahead on your escape route. That part is true.
8. Normal Illinois
Just kidding! It might sound like great fun, but the expectations there are too high and strict to be bothered with. Plus, as rumor has it, it's always changing! It's not even close enough to Chicago to be worth it.
9. The North or South Pole
The world is bi-polar so either offers some amazing amusements and animals you won't find elsewhere. You'll need to dress warm and then dress warmer, but up North (I recommend Greenland, mostly because I've always wanted to go) you're only a boat ride away from seeing some seals, orcas and polar bears. Narwhals alone are worth braving the cold for! The South Pole offers more whales, more seals, but best of all penguins! The North Pole (and Madagascar, apparently) won't give you penguins. The South Pole won't give you polar bears. Both should make the bucket list. Speaking of which, the North Pole offers walruses, so don't forget to bring the bucket with you.
10. Oddville, Kentucky
A place where being yourself isn't just a privilege but a city law! Ok, at least a right. Not too far from Lexington and Louisville, (think Churchill Downs and Kentucky Derby) you can have action packed days, and quiet nights. Also possibly a great place to bring your telescope. Not for the races, you silly goose. You want binoculars there. No. The telescope is for the stars, as Oddville is small enough and far out enough to offer less light pollution. See, this is why you don't want to travel big. If it has a tourist guide, it's a bad idea. Stick with me, I have your back and best mental health interests at heart!
11. Paranoid Peak, Fraser Valley, British Columbia Canada
While I can find it on a map, I can't find any references to it on Google. At all. In fact, all attempts insist I'm trying to look for Cheam Peak, without a single one of those references making reference to paranoia. While Cheam Peak is at the end of an amazing mountain trail of 9.5km, located 700 meters into the sky, and offering a 360 degree view of the mountains around, I'm still finding it rather fishy that Paranoid Peak is clearly on the map, yet Google insists we visit Cheam Peak instead. Now even I'm a little nervous. Let us move on. Shall we?
12. Suicide Rock, San Bernardino National Forest, Idyllwild-Pine Cove, California
I… You know what? Scratch that one off the list all together. No need to go there. Go to Peacehaven, East Sussex, United Kingdom instead. Or if you insist on a national forest, Yellowstone is grand and even has a geyser that is extremely faithful. We could all use a little faithfulness in our lives. Either way, I'm thinking Suicide Rock is not the answer to our stressed out problems.
13. Tired Creek, Okanogan-Wenatchee National Forest, Washington
You know? All this is because you are stressed out and tired. You need a rest. So maybe the best bet is to just grab a fishing pole and a can of worms, and just relax creek side, catching your dinner in the water or at a local diner in nearby Ellensburg. If you're really feeling brave, Seattle, Washington isn't too far to the West so you can see some city life before you go home. But not too much of that. You're there for the relaxation, after all. So keep it simple and go to Tired Creek, to lay back and relax your tired feet, letting your mind wander away towards tired sleep.
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