1. Salon Time exists on a different plane. Cancel all other appointments.
2. Even when the salon is jam-packed your stylist will assure you that you will be seen "soon".
3. You grow accustomed to the hairdressers' kids and extended family being incredibly close to you…
4. When they eventually start you can't believe their braiding tekkers.
5. But "gentle" isn’t necessarily in your hairdresser's vocabulary.
6. If you’ve got natural hair you will be advised approximately 40 times to "relax this hair".
7. You’ll be offered a pre-2012 edition of Black Hair magazine to read.
8. You know no one will judge you when you roll up with four-month-old weave or braids.
9. You become immune to the pungent smell of relaxer.
10. You know the stylist with edges running away from her face is probably the best one.
11. Sometimes two stylists will work on your head to speed up the process and you feel important AF.
12. And other times you will struggle to get a hairdresser to stay with you.
13. Sometimes you're abandoned under the dryer for what feels like an eternity.
14. And if you leave with a weave, you'll have perfected the signature tap.
15. You can easily spot an inexpensive shop masquerading as a fancy one.
16. The price quoted on arrival can increase – or decrease – depending on the hairdresser's mood.
17. In fact, it often feels like prices are made up on the spot.
18. Chances are there's no card reader, which means dashing to the cash point with your hair in rollers.
19. You will always nod your approval of the "trim" the hairdresser insisted you needed.
The tears may fall freely at home.
20. Because there's a 99.99% chance you will leave looking like a Queen.
