1. Keanu Reeves
This looks like he got his hair trimmed, glued the trimmings to his face, and now the glue is melting.
2. James Franco
I think his facial hair is some sort of performance art that none of us get.
3. Justin Timberlake
That beard is bringing unsexy back.
4. Brad Pitt
The obvious comment is that his beard is the “Pitts,” but here are a few other options:
World War buZz Your Face
Killing Them Softly With This Beard
12 Years to Shave
Razor Burn After Shaving
5. Shia LaBeouf
I think what is worse than the beard is that shirt and tie combo.
6. Adam Brody
I guess “O.C.” stands for “Oh, you want me to shave? Can’t.”
7. Spencer Pratt
He needs to disappear in general, but let’s start with that beard, shall we?
8. Michael Cera
9. Daniel Craig
I’m sorry, but I was looking for badass Daniel Craig, not a bank manager from Manchester.
10. Emile Hirsch
Dude, you’re not filming Into the Wild anymore. Time to step Into the Shower and shave.
11. Daniel Radcliffe
Can you use the Avada Kedavra curse on a beard?
12. Justin Bieber
Is that even a mustache? Or was he drinking a root beer float?
Look, guys, I get it. I hate shaving, too. But facts are facts and most of us will never have a beard as handsome as this…
… Or a mustache as full and fitting as this.
Isn’t that right, Johnny Depp?
Ahh, screw it. Patchy hair 4EVA!
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