13 Breakup Poems That Say It Better Than You Ever Could

The Twitter hashtag movement #breakuppoetry parodied classic poems by making them about split relationships. Here are some of the best ones.

1. Brooklyn-based comedian Maria Heinegg recently started #breakuppoetry on Twitter.

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I do not like you on a boat, I do not like you with a goat. I do not like you, Sam #breakuppoetry

— Kjerstin (@swissmistress)
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Begging Yearning Pleading For the day you return All my damn CDs and DVDs #breakuppoetry

— Woodrow Simmons (@WintermuteNight)
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Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. You embarrass me at parties. #breakuppoetry

— Maria Heinegg (@MariaElizabest)
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An open door says, “Come in.” A shut door says, “Who are you?” My door says "Get the hell out." #breakuppoetry

— Chris Conroy (@conniewriter)
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, in a fury, With you rapping at my door, Quoth the Larry, "Nevermore". #breakuppoetry

— Larry Kenobi (@LarryKenobi)
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you said "i'll text you tomorrow" but now, my biggest sorrow is i'll never get back the money i let you borrow #breakuppoetry

— Irene ♥mann (@irenechartmann)
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Woman, I bid thee, hither not forth I've assembled all your belongings upon the front porch #breakuppoetry

— Nathan Vesta (@NathanVesta)
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I never saw a moor; I never saw the sea, Yet know I how a tether looks, So get away from me. #breakuppoetry

— ChickswDictionaries (@ChickswD)
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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine and by that I mean you've damaged me in ways I won't know about for years to come #breakuppoetry

— no one (@jjjessicuh)
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since feeling is first who pays any attention Definitely not you Get off your phone #breakuppoetry

— Maria Heinegg (@MariaElizabest)
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I know we once were tight. But I'm leaving, Mr. White. The blue stuff made me rich. So see ya later, BITCH. #breakuppoetry @aaronpaul_8

— Lando Kardashian (@LandoKardashian)
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