Let’s break down the brackets superlative-style.
Most WTF Pick: Memphis to beat both Michigan State and Louisville? It’s not ridiculous to think that they could make it to the Elite Eight, but to do it by beating both of those teams (and therefore getting no help from other upsets) would be a tall task. LeBron, you do know that Derrick Rose doesn’t still play for Memphis. No? Remember Derrick Rose? He’s the guy who hates what a clown you are.
Most Disappointing Bracket: This is a pretty chalky bracket. It’s boring and safe, which runs counter to everything I love about the Minnesota Timberwolves. Damn you, Kevin Love. You should have let Michael Beasley pick for you. I’m sure he would have at least drawn some trippy doodles all over it.
Most Cinderella Happy: This is what March Madness is all about! Three double-digit seeds in the Sweet 16? That’s awesome. Also, it probably won’t happen. But the spirit is totally right. Well done, Rajon. You earned the right to wear those cool glasses in a game. I’ll let Joey Crawford know.
Most Homer Bracket: Screw you, Kemba. UConn is not going to win the title this year. They’ll be murdered in the second round by Kentucky, if they’re even lucky enough to get there. That is unless you plan on dressing up as Shabazz Napier. In which case, I take back everything I said, and look forward to watching you win another title.
Most Likely To Have Screamed An Expletive About Fab Melo: Deron Williams will not be winning his pool unless Syracuse shocks the world by overcoming the loss of one of their best players. At least he’ll have puppies to cheer him up.