Title: Smurfs Director: Raja Gosnell Format: In theaters (July 2011) Rating: PG Genre: Comedy, Family, Animation Starring: Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Katy Perry (Smurfette), Hank Azaria, George Lopez (Grouchy Smurf), Jonathan Winters (Papa Smurf) LA LA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA Does anyone find that song mildly annoying? You do? Some of the Smurfs are even annoyed by it too. But no worries, they are cute enough to deflect even the most annoying of songs. An old childhood favorite is back and on the big screen. The Smurfs go on their biggest adventure yet when the evil wizard, Gargamel, chase them from their magical village. (Yes, they still live in mushrooms!) In their haste to get away they tumble through a vortex and find themselves in a whole new world – our world! Central Park and New York City to be exact! With Gargamel (and his evil cat!) hot on their trail the little blue Smurfs must navigate through the city and find their way back home before the wizard captures them for his heinous plans. On their journey they meet new friends and change the lives of everyone they meet.
Ever do something you were not proud of as a child? Did you ever dream that one blunder would haunt you for the rest of your life? Ever think a mistake you made as a child could leave you paying the debt with your life years later? I made more of my share of mistakes growing up, I’m just happy I wasn’t a part of the Jokers Club. Once upon a time, there was a group of pleasant, young boys. They had meetings trying to decide how to better their community, how to help their fellow man, and how to lift the self-esteem of all those around them. This is NOT their story. The Jokers Club had a different agenda. Instead of planting flowers, walking the old lady across the street, and smiling at the dork in class, the Jokers Club is smoking (oh no!), removing dead bodies from the grave (NO JOKE!!), and something much, much worse (DUN DUN DUN!!!).
Nora Grey’s life is still far from perfect. Surviving an attempt on her life wasn’t pleasant, but at least she got a guardian angel out of it. A mysterious, magnetic, gorgeous guardian angel. But despite his role in her life, Patch has been acting anything but angelic. He’s more elusive than ever (if that’s possible) and what’s worse, he seems spending time with Nora’s archenemy, Marcie Millar.
Nora would have hardly noticed Scott Parnell, an old family friend who has moved back to town, if Patch hadn’t been acting so distant. Even with Scott’s totally infuriating attitude, Nora finds herself drawn to him – despite her lingering feelings that he is hiding something.
Arthur Bach is a screw-up. He’s been raised with more money than he can imagine and no one has ever told him no. He does what he wants when he wants and the newspapers and tabloids love to exploit his outrageous behavior.
One particular fun evening while out in the Bat Mobile (yes, the Bat Mobile) he gets into a bit of an accident and gets arrested. Did I mention that he was drunk? That he is always drunk? Yup. he keeps vodka in his water bottle.
Arthur’s mother is a savvy, high corporate business woman who runs the multi-million dollar family business that keeps so much cash in his pocket. It seems that Arthur’s latest stunt has got all the investors in the business worried that the company is doomed because the end of the family line is with Arthur. If Arthur is passed the company then it will fail and millions upon millions will be lost.
Bethany Hamilton was born in idyllic Kauai, Hawaii and was raised with the ocean as her backyard. From a very young age she took to the water and showed a natural talent for surfing. Her mother often joked that she was a mermaid. As a teenager she lead the perfect “surfer girl” life, competing in competitions and having a blast with her best friend, Alana.
But then everything changed.
On Halloween morning.
The day started out as a typical fun in the sun and play in the surf kind of day but then a 14-foot tiger shark came along and turned her typical day into a life altering nightmare.
Priest, loosely based on a Korean graphic novel, is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi with both a dark dystopian and old western feel. Priest (Paul Bettany) is a legendary Warrior from the last Vampire War. He is drawn from the city and breaks his vows to the Church when his niece (Lily Collins) is abducted by a pack of vampires. Her boyfriend (Cam Gigandet), a rather immature, trigger-happy sheriff, joins Priest in his quest to save Lucy before her abductors change her into a one of them. These aren’t your emotionally torn, sparkly vampires; think more along the lines of Alien with nasty fangs and blinding speed! They live in hives and serve one nasty queen—a queen who was smart enough to learn how to create a stronger, hybrid creature. Priest must learn where his faith truly belongs before it is too late for Lucy and the rest of the world.
What woman doesn’t want to be known for just her mind? Most women would bend over backwards to find a man who could appreciate what she was thinking, not what she was wearing or how full her bra was. Being waited on hand and foot doesn’t seem like such a bad idea either does it? People to feed you when you are hungry, bathe you and adjust your bed when the pillows need fluffing? Sounds like the life, doesn’t it? You can have all of this and more.
What kind of guy doesn’t want a hall pass? A week off from marriage, no strings attached. Does it get any better than that? Well not for Owen Wilson. He pushes his wife to the breaking point and she finally suggests he go off and do whatever he needs to do for a week, and then come home. Kind of like that old saying of set the bird free and if it comes back it was yours to begin with. If it doesn’t then he better pray to God he was shot by some Midwestern duck hunter.
It is every person’s worst nightmare—nuclear war—and it’s happened. Whole cities have been completely wiped off the map. Those that are left standing are quickly becoming graveyards. What’s left of the government has instituted Martial Law. Corpse wagons make regular pick-ups of the dead. Radiation sickness and diseases like cholera and typhus are running rampant through what’s left of the population. Rick Nash’s wife Shelly has just died of cholera. He wants to bury her properly but that’s illegal. After weeks of eeking out some semblance of survival Nash has reached the depths of his despair and decides to commit suicide. He is stopped by a presence that he refers to as The Shape that he feels needs him in some way.
I do love a good horror story, and Asylum Lake fits the bill. It reels you in while developing the storyline and main character and then slams it home with one of the more horrific murder scenes I have read in a long time. Hello, has anyone seen the twin’s hands and feet lately. Try looking in the kitchen sink if you have the stomach for it.