How To Answer The 10 Hardest Interview Questions

A handy guide to ace those tough curveball interview questions and get that dream job!

1. Describe yourself in 3 words.

Outgoing, determined, flexible?

WRONG.

Good. At. Jobs.

That's what we're looking for!

2. What are your weaknesses?

Often interviewees will come up with false weaknesses, such as being a perfectionist to try and outsmart the interviewer.

But there is no substitute for honesty, which will actually show that you are able to self-evaluate and improve, so just be honest:

Fire, acid and attacks from bladed weapons.

Someone knows what we want to hear!

3. Describe a situation where you have gone above and beyond.

At first this will probably catch you out, because it looks like they want you to give an example of you working beyond your job requirements – false!

This is actually a test to see if you have ever been in an attic. The attic is the scariest part of a house, what with it being dark and high up. If you can show you don't fear the attic, you'll be just an unfazed by networking with Brenda in sales or closing the Henderson account.

Don't forget, 5 out of 5 Dragons from Dragon's Den have been in an attic.

I still go in my attic once or twice a month!

4. Are you a competitive person?

Yell, 'I'm the MOST competitive person!' then stand up, revealing the fact you are wearing running shorts.

This guy gets it!

5. Are you a wallflower?

There is no right way to answer this, but as long as you don't begin photosynthesizing you'll be fine.

Look at these dicks!

6. What is your work philosophy?

Answer with something relevant to the job at hand. Here are some examples:

Lion tamer: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' – Nietzsche.

Office worker: 'If you're going through Hell, keep going' – Churchill.

Pornstar: 'Don't forget… to love yourself' – Kierkegaard.

You’ll be fun on a night out!

7. Do you like my tie?

Fuck yes I like your tie. Is that burnt sienna?

Ties are important!

8. Describe a project you have handled.

6 years old.

Mrs McCluskey's class.

Make a collage of a rainbow.

Strict deadline of 3pm the same day.

Limited paper supplies.

Glue spilled everywhere, but I wasn't afraid to get stuck in; to get my fingers dirty to achieve the goal.

I got a gold star.

Cashing cheques and snapping necks!

9. What is your proudest achievement?

I time travelled to the future to prevent World War III. You just don't know it yet.

That’s the sort of can-do attitude we look for!

10. Will you struggle to conform to the office environment, gradually subvert the system through a series of increasingly demented pranks and acts of sabotage before murdering everyone in a ritualistic fashion before turning the gun on yourself?

No.

Bloody massacres only add to my dry-cleaning bill!

Good luck at your next interview. With this advice you're sure to land your dream job, no matter what questions are thrown at you!