Kudos. Not per se for the content but for the fact that you’re talking about this topic. I don’t agree with your assertions but who cares. This piece is a good start. Something is happening in the decision making process of gay men and condom use that is fundamentally different than when gay men negotiated sex 10 years ago. It’s become more complicated for a lot of reasons and the only way we can find out why men are not using condoms is to talk about it. The risk calculations are different. People are living. HIV has become a private discussion with your doctor. Testing is better, faster, cheaper. And people are making their own risk calculations. Epidemiological studies seem to show that many of those new risk calculations are probably not effective if folks rationally want to avoid sero-conversion. But the fact is— the only way we know about how decisions are made is to broach the subject and talk about it. I hope you’re safe. I hope you don’t ever become infected. And we all need to talk about sex, and desire and risk. Talking about this now is good. Your essay doesn’t tell the whole story. Hopefully more folks will.