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A User’s Guide To The Best Swear In Every Language*

Your incomplete primer on the most colorful, offensive, and gloriously creative profanity in the world. *A motherfucking work in progress. So, obviously, contains NSFW language.

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

Someone once said that swearing is the sure sign of a limited vocabulary.

That person was a dumb fucking shitpile.

Swearing isn’t just useful, it’s goddamn profound. If profanity isn’t just as rich and varied a form of cultural expression as food or visual art, then surely it is just as clear a window onto the priorities, fears, and tastes of the people who produce and use it. To be sure, it can be offensive, hurtful, even dangerous. But it is also almost always pants-shittingly hysterical.

And you dumb asswipes don’t know enough of it.

So in the interest of acknowledging this boundlessly creative, revealing, and disgusting human gift, I humbly present an abridged guide to the best swears in every language. A few notes before you dive in, although you’ll probably ignore them, you douchebag.

• You won’t find in here any epithets having to do with sexual orientation or ethnicity or misogyny. I intend this as a celebration of the depravity of human language, not its hatefulness.

• Where possible, I have included non-Latin scripts.

• This is obviously far, far, far from comprehensive. Please add your favorite swears below, and if they are in languages we don’t have (or are more compellingly and colorfully depraved than our choices in languages we do have), we’ll add them!

Enough silly bullshit. Enjoy, motherfuckers.

3. Afrikaans


Siug aan my aambeie en wag vir beter dae!: “Suck on my hemorrhoids and wait for better days!”

4. Amharic


Silbabot: Literally “You are the fatty layer on my warm milk”, meaning “You are a nuisance.”

5. Arabic


طيزك حمراء (Teezak hamra): Literally “Your butt is red!”, meaning “you’re a dumbass.”

6. Bengali

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

মোটা কুকুর (Mota kutta): “Fat dog!”

7. Bulgarian


Кон да ти го натресе (Kon da ti go natrese): - “Get fucked by a horse!”

8. Cantonese

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

TIE!!!

金魚佬 (Gam yu lou): Literally “Goldfish man,” pervert, an old man who woos children with bags of pet goldfish.

AND

仆街 (Puk gai): “Pave the road with your shit-worthless body!”

9. Croatian


Idi u pičku materinu!: “Go back inside your mother’s pussy!”

10. Czech


“Vykuř mi”: “Smoke my cock!”

11. English


American - Douchebag!

British - Bell-end!: “Glans!”

12. Farsi

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

خاک تو سرت‎ (Khak too saret): “Dirt on your head!”, in the sense of “May you be buried!”

13. French


TIE!!!

Fini à la pisse: “Finished with piss”, meaning that a person was conceived by a mix of sperm and urine.

AND

Je te pisse à la raie!: “I piss on your butt crack!”

14. German


Du bist ein arschgeficktes suppenhuhn!: “You are a chicken that got fucked in the ass!”

15. Greek


Θα μου κλάσεις τα αρχίδια (Na mou klaseis ta’rxidia): Literally “Fart on my balls!”, meaning, “You’re powerless and ineffective.”

16. Hebrew


שמתי על זה קצוץ!‎ (Samti `al ze katzutz!): Literally “I put my circumcised one on it!”, meaning “I don’t give a fuck!”

17. Hindi/Urdu

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

الو کا پٹھا‎ (Uloo Ka Pata): “Son of an owl!” (In the Indian subcontinent, owls are considered lazy and stupid.)

18. Hungarian


Kutya faszát!: “Dog dick!”

19. Icelandic


Hoppaðu upp í rassgatið á þér: “Hop up your own ass!”

20. Irish


Go mbeire an diabhal thú: “May the devil choke you!”

21. Italian


Vaffanculo!: Literally “Go do an ass!”, meaning, “Fuck you!”

22. Japanese


豆腐の角に頭をぶつけて死ね (Tofu no kado ni atama wo butsukete shine): “Hit your head on a corner of tofu and die!”

23. Korean


씨발놈 개쌔끼 (Shibbal-nom geseki): “Fuck you, you son of a bitch!”

24. Mandarin


肏你祖宗十八代 (Tsao Ni Zhu Zhong Shi Ba Dai): “Fuck all your family 18 generations past!”

25. Portuguese


Casa do caralho: “House of the dick!” Used to curse a specific place.

26. Romanian


Uscamias chilotii pe crucea matii!: “I would dry my dirty underwear on your mother’s crucifix!”

27. Russian


пошел на хуй (Poshol na khui): “Go ride a dick!”

28. Shanghainese


死老太婆 (Sǐ lǎo tài pó): “Die old lady!”

29. Spanish

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

Christina Lu/BuzzFeed

 

TIE!!!

La concha de la lora!: “The parrot’s pussy!” Used as “fuck off”.

And

Me cago en la leche!: “I shit in the milk!”

30. Swedish


Skitstövel!: “Shit-boot!”, basically, “asshole!”

31. Polish


Spierdalaj!: “Get the fuck away!”

32. Tagalog


Mukha Kang Tae: “You look like a shit!”

33. Turkish


Ağzına sıçarım: “I’ll shit in your mouth!”

34. Yiddish


Gay kocken offen yom!: “Go shit in the ocean!”

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