The Most Bizarre Interior Paint Shade Names Of All Time

Whoever’s in charge of naming paint colors — we need to talk. posted on

1. Hugs & Kisses

“I want to paint my wall the color of a PDA.” — no one

2. Mayonnaise

1. Squirt mayo on a sandwich. 2. Pause and think “Hey, this would look great on a wall.”

3. Potentially Purple

You don’t even know?!

4. Dragons Blood

What is this? Painting your kitchen or Game of Thrones?

5. Mermaid Net

Best case scenario: Mermaids aren’t real and you look like an idiot. Worst case scenario: You’ve killed a mermaid.

6. Song of Summer

Do Robin Thicke and Daft Punk have to get dragged into what color you’re painting your wall?

7. Bath Salts

Is this relaxing-me-time bath salts or eat-someone’s-face bath salts? Because it’s an important distinction.

8. Lauren’s Surprise

None of us know who Lauren is. Let’s just hope her little “surprise” isn’t something horrifying, whatever it is.

9. Friendship

Did you know that friendship has a color?

10. Flamingo’s Dream

The sad truth is, 0% of flamingos achieve their dreams.

11. Salty Tear

Interior design and crying: the ultimate combination.

12. Practical Beige

Whoever chooses this color is R2P (Ready 2 Party).

13. Whispering Peach

If only peach would shut up for like two seconds. We can all hear you.

14. Anonymous

Hey, people who name paint colors, this is allowed? Your boss was fine with this one?

15. Emotional

Whitney Houston’s 1987 hit “So Emotional” probably wasn’t named after this orange color. Probably.

16. Spirit Whisper

Terrifying.

17. Phantom Mist

Also terrifying.

18. Rave Red

Is this shade of red going to be sucking on a pacifier and throwing glow sticks around?

19. Magic Potion

Maybe you just wanted to paint a wall, and now all of a sudden you’re mixed up in the black arts and there’s no turning back.

20. Divine Pleasure

Slowly backing away.

21. New Age

Remember that store in the mall that sold incense and power crystals and went out of business? This paint color certainly does.

22. Bagel

Are you just naming paints after what you ate today?

23. Nacho Cheese

But it’s an elegant, Victorian nacho cheese.

24. Centaur

Wanna paint the wall like a man horse please.

25. Obstinate Orange

All those other oranges are too compromising. Give me a strong-headed orange. I need a challenge.

26. Seduction

Nothing says “seduction” like a bright purple room.

27. Gray Area

If “gray area” comes up in a conversation it’s never, ever a good thing.

28. St. Patty’s Day

I’d like to make a room in my home reminiscent of green vomit. What color is that? Ah yes.

29. Red Red Wine

I’d like my wall to resemble that time at the party when UB40 comes on and everyone’s too drunk to change it.

30. Dream I Can Fly

We’ve all listened to the Space Jam soundtrack, but do you really want to base your interior decorating decisions on it?

31. Lavender Secret

If you keep too many lavender secrets, someone’s gonna get lavender hurt.

32. Dinner Mint

Ninety-nine percent of the time dinner mints suck. There are those rare occasions that you get an Andes mint. But those times can’t possibly make up for a lifetime of starlight mint BS.

33. Grandma’s Sweater

Remember when Grandma wore that blue sweater? No? Well then GET OUT.

34. Cheerful Whisper

Have you ever whispered cheerfully? Pretend that you have. This is what color that is.

35. Likeable Sand

I want the color of sand, but only if it’s a likable sand.

36. Appletini

Painting your wall this color will result in the same thing as ordering an appletini — regret.

37. Frozen in Time

Like… cryogenically or… what?

38. Subtle Touch

Who’s touching what now?

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