1. Hugs & Kisses
“I want to paint my wall the color of a PDA.” — no one
1. Squirt mayo on a sandwich. 2. Pause and think “Hey, this would look great on a wall.”
4. Dragons Blood
What is this? Painting your kitchen or Game of Thrones?
5. Mermaid Net
Best case scenario: Mermaids aren’t real and you look like an idiot. Worst case scenario: You’ve killed a mermaid.
6. Song of Summer
Do Robin Thicke and Daft Punk have to get dragged into what color you’re painting your wall?
7. Bath Salts
Is this relaxing-me-time bath salts or eat-someone’s-face bath salts? Because it’s an important distinction.
8. Lauren’s Surprise
None of us know who Lauren is. Let’s just hope her little “surprise” isn’t something horrifying, whatever it is.
10. Flamingo’s Dream
The sad truth is, 0% of flamingos achieve their dreams.
11. Salty Tear
Interior design and crying: the ultimate combination.
12. Practical Beige
Whoever chooses this color is R2P (Ready 2 Party).
13. Whispering Peach
If only peach would shut up for like two seconds. We can all hear you.
Hey, people who name paint colors, this is allowed? Your boss was fine with this one?
Whitney Houston’s 1987 hit “So Emotional” probably wasn’t named after this orange color. Probably.
18. Rave Red
Is this shade of red going to be sucking on a pacifier and throwing glow sticks around?
19. Magic Potion
Maybe you just wanted to paint a wall, and now all of a sudden you’re mixed up in the black arts and there’s no turning back.
21. New Age
Remember that store in the mall that sold incense and power crystals and went out of business? This paint color certainly does.
Are you just naming paints after what you ate today?
23. Nacho Cheese
But it’s an elegant, Victorian nacho cheese.
25. Obstinate Orange
All those other oranges are too compromising. Give me a strong-headed orange. I need a challenge.
Nothing says “seduction” like a bright purple room.
27. Gray Area
If “gray area” comes up in a conversation it’s never, ever a good thing.
28. St. Patty’s Day
I’d like to make a room in my home reminiscent of green vomit. What color is that? Ah yes.
29. Red Red Wine
I’d like my wall to resemble that time at the party when UB40 comes on and everyone’s too drunk to change it.
30. Dream I Can Fly
We’ve all listened to the Space Jam soundtrack, but do you really want to base your interior decorating decisions on it?
31. Lavender Secret
If you keep too many lavender secrets, someone’s gonna get lavender hurt.
32. Dinner Mint
Ninety-nine percent of the time dinner mints suck. There are those rare occasions that you get an Andes mint. But those times can’t possibly make up for a lifetime of starlight mint BS.
33. Grandma’s Sweater
Remember when Grandma wore that blue sweater? No? Well then GET OUT.
34. Cheerful Whisper
Have you ever whispered cheerfully? Pretend that you have. This is what color that is.
35. Likeable Sand
I want the color of sand, but only if it’s a likable sand.
Painting your wall this color will result in the same thing as ordering an appletini — regret.
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