If bacon is your favorite, you just know what’s up. People should be coming to you for advice on life’s tough questions. Questions like, what should I eat? You know the answer. (Bacon.)
If a bagel is your favorite, you’re basically like Beyoncé. That’s just a basic fact. No one’s ready for your jelly. Or cream cheese. Whatever.
If biscuits are your favorite, not only do you know how important it is to appreciate life’s flakier things, you just manage to have this glow about you. The special glow only a biscuit lover can produce.
4. Biscuits and Gravy
If biscuits and gravy are your favorite, odds are you’re pretty cool. On the cool scale there’s leather jackets, motorcycles, ice cubes, and then you. You’re ice cold, baby. Sorry, that felt inappropriate. But it’s true!
5. Breakfast Burrito
If ever a man said you can’t wrap eggs up in a flour tortilla, you’d tell him “No! You fool!” Because if breakfast burritos are your favorite, you’re both a trendsetter and an enforcer. Whatever you say goes in the land of breakfast and beyond.
6. Breakfast Sandwich
If the classic egg and cheese (with or without sausage or bacon) is your favorite, you have great taste. No one can argue with that. And if they try, they should be put in jail for crimes against breakfast. You just know what kind of stuff belongs slapped inside a sandwich, which is the kind of life knowledge only really smart, cool people possess.
Cereal might be mankind’s greatest invention. Wheels and electricity need to get over themselves. And if you happen to be a lover of this sweet, milk-drenched delight, it means you’re the kind of person everyone just wants to be near. The cereal eater has an inner magnetism that no one can resist. Everybody wants you (not unlike children relentlessly chasing after a poor leprechaun’s food).
8. Cinnamon Rolls
Cinnamon rolls — hot damn! They’re so sticky and lovable. And if you love them, that makes you definitely lovable. And possibly sticky. Though, that part is up to you.
Coffee. It’s basically like a brother, a mother, a lover, to us all. If it’s your favorite part of breakfast, you tend to be the kind of person who instantly makes any room better just by walking into it. You improve any situation. You’re the alcohol of people.
If crepes are your favorite, I’m not sure how you’re still alive because you have a heart of gold. When Tina Turner sang “You’re simply the best” she was probably, no DEFINITELY, talking about you specifically.
Ohhh fancy! If croissants are your favorite, you’re not only fancy as hell, you’re living the dream. That dream everyone’s always talking about, THIS IS IT. You’re in it. You’re really doing it. God bless you.
If donuts are your favorite, that means you keep it real. You’re as real as they come and you don’t play games. You’re mad authentic and all the other fake breakfast eaters out there ain’t got nothin’ on you, donut lover. Way to be.
13. Eggs Benedict
Eggs Benedict are for anyone who loves it when a poached egg explodes all over their breakfast. If that describes you, listen up. Here’s a secret: Everyone wants to be you. Maybe they make it obvious, maybe they keep it on the down low, but you and your egg explosions are where it’s at.
14. French Toast
If this squishy egg bread is your favorite, it means one thing: You’re destined for greatness. French Toast eaters cannot be stopped so everyone should watch out for you and your maple syrup trail to the stars.
15. Fried Eggs
Fried eggs are simple and classic. Plus you get to use special terminology when you order them. “Over easy,” “sunny side up,” “over hard.” So not only do you get to speak in your secret egg language, if fried eggs are you favorite, it just means you’re doing it right. Breakfast. Life. Everything.
If fruit is your favorite breakfast food, it means you got it goin’ on. What is “it”? No one knows. But you’ve got it.
If granola is your favorite, you never let the haters stop you from doing your thing (or thang). You’re completely hater-proof. Besides, name one other food that lends itself so seamlessly to being formed into a bar? Certainly not scrambled eggs.
If grits are your favorite (with cheese and jalapeños maybe?), it means you radiate an aura of inner beauty. Sometimes your inner beauty is blinding and people have to wear sunglasses. But that’s not your fault so don’t worry about it.
19. Hardboiled Eggs
It seems weird that hardboiled eggs aren’t called “little protein babies,” but that’s not the point. If hardboiled eggs are your favorite, it means you make the world a better place just by being in it. Thank you!
20. Hash Browns
If hash browns are your favorite, it means you’re what’s known as a “genius.” The special knowledge that crispy shredded potatoes come above all else sets you far apart from all those average people out there.
21. Huevos Rancheros
If huevos rancheros are your favorite, you are what’s often described as a “winner.” You win at life, but more importantly, you win at breakfast. And that’s what really matters.
Lox is like, “Yo, listen up. We’re eatin’ fish for breakfast and there’s nothing you can do about it.” If you embrace the breakfast fish, you have tremendous strength of character.
If muffins are your favorite, you basically have the best personality. You’re not one of those people who has to make sure their hair looks perfect to make up for their horrible personality. You’re the opposite! But your hair probably looks good too.
If oatmeal is your favorite, you deserve an award. Is it an award for eating a healthy breakfast? No! Of course not! It’s an award for just being awesome.
If omelets are your favorite, it means you’ve got attitude. But in a good way. Like a cool, “The Fonz” kind of way.
If pancakes are your favorite, it means you’re a breakfast professional. You should probably put “eating breakfast” on your résumé because you’re just so damn good at it. Step aside, amateurs, the breakfast pro is here to show you how it’s done.
If Poptarts are your favorite, it means you are flawless. You wake up flawless.
If sausage is your favorite, it means you’re a breakfast champion. And that’s a real thing. Breakfast champions are members of an elite class of breakfast eaters. Once their talent is spotted, they’re sent off to train and represent their country in the Olympics for breakfast eating.
29. Scrambled Eggs
This is probably going to sound weird, but if scrambled eggs are your favorite, it means you have hidden…powers. Your hidden talents are very powerful and if unlocked correctly, could essentially rule the world. But please don’t use your power for evil. The rest of us are terrified.
If smoothies are your favorite, it means you’re incredibly stylish. For example, look at what you’re wearing right now. Everyone loves it.
If toast is your favorite, it basically means you’re made of sunshine. You probably don’t even need a toaster. Just rub the bread all over your body and the sunshine from within will toast it.
If waffles are your favorite, it means you’re super hot. That’s just how it usually works when it comes to waffles and the people who ingest them.