1. It’s frequently overrun with competitive weirdos trying to out-weird you.
2. The simple syrup is pretty much simple water.
3. Twelve ounces is considered a “large.”
This ain’t Europe.
4. You’re sensing a little attitude when you ask for the wifi password.
I know my rights.
5. The barista is too hot to deal with sans the coffee you are seeking.
Can we do this transaction thing in reverse order?
6. Always too crowded to sit anywhere and relax, think and reflect — the very essence of what coffee houses are all about.
Home and Folgers would have been better.
7. Or if it isn’t, you’ll probably be forced to “connect” with a rando.
8. Don’t ask me whether I want milk. GIVE me the milk.
Why yes, I take milk. I take it in my own hands and pour an amount suitable to my tastes, because my mouth is more than a mere receptacle for caffeine. (Most days.)