1. David Cameron and Angela Merkel decided to go for a relaxing boat ride this afternoon.
Also manning the boat were Swedish Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt (putting in the work on the oars) and Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte.
Because that’s how four leaders of EU nations spend a leisurely summer afternoon before conducting some talks. On a boat.
2. The four leaders kept proceedings on an even keel.
While Sweden’s Reinfeldt put in the hard work, Dutchman Rutter crouched at the front and Merkel was in control. Cameron sat, slightly awkwardly, at the back.
3. Then Merkel adopts the pose of a longboat commander and orders her men to paddle at full speed towards the photographer.
Something about gunboat diplomacy.
4. But suddenly she spies a threat. And orders a quick turn.
David Cameron seems slightly sheepish about all this. It could be he’s found his plan to stop ex-Luxembourg Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker taking the job of European Commission President has been holed beneath the waterline.
Or it could just be that he’s realised he’s on a goddam boat with Angela Merkel and he knows this looks very silly indeed.
5. Well, this is awkward.
6. Still, would you argue with this ship’s captain?
Europe is in her hands.