1. Ed Miliband started things off by claiming the NHS is in crisis. Ed Balls just nodded a lot.
2. This angered David Cameron, who insists the NHS isn’t in crisis. And who really hates to see Ed Balls nod a lot.
3. Conservative health secretary Jeremy Hunt seemed deeply pleased with himself.
4. While Andy Burnham, Labour’s shadow health secretary, seemed to be enjoying himself.
5. It got so noisy that Speaker Bercow told MPs to shut up and stop behaving in a “low-grade, downmarket” manner.
6. Meanwhile, Ed Miliband joined in by hitting an imaginary stop button, repeatedly.
He’s actually bouncing an imaginary basketball.
7. Then Speaker Bercow told MPs to shut up and stop behaving like schoolchildren. Again.
8. A backbench MP gesticulated wildly about the number of jobs in Morecambe.
9. Labour’s Tom Blenkinsop asked Cameron why he had invited a man wanted on suspicion of murder to Downing Street.
This picture of Cameron meeting Abdul Aziz could turn out to be quite awkward.
10. And Sir Peter Tapsell arrived from the 19th century to provide some advice on national security.
The grand old man of the House of Commons, Tapsell became an MP seven years before David Cameron was even born.
11. It all got a bit too much for Labour’s Luciana Berger, who started playing with her iPad.
12. Mike Hancock MP, forced to leave the Lib Dems over sexual assault claims, made a rare appearance.
13. Which was too exciting for MPs. So Speaker Bercow had to tell them to shut up. Again.
14. Nick Clegg was so depressed by the whole episode that he decided to hide behind David Cameron.
15. And by this point even Ed Balls couldn’t be bothered to continue.
16. So Speaker Bercow called time on the whole thing. Until next week.
- Russia is reportedly preparing to send ground troops to aid Syria's campaign against rebel forces. ›
- President Obama on Monday declared a major disaster in South Carolina, where floods have killed at least 12 people and left tens of thousands stranded. ›
- California has become the fifth U.S. state to legalize physician-assisted suicide for terminally ill patients. ›