1. It begins when your mom makes a comment about your tight clothes
What does she know? I’ve only gained a pound. I look healthier.
2. But then getting your pants on becomes an exercise
It begins when putting on your pants requires laying on your back and a good thrust. Can’t….breathe….
3. And this becomes your best friend’s reaction when you go out to eat
You’ve only eaten 2 cheeseburgers, fries, chicken nuggets, and a pie with a sundae on the side. She’s just hating…right?
4. So you decide to dust off that old scale in the bathroom
I’m a monnnnsterrrrrrrr!
5. You unwillingly decide to begin your diet
I’ve got this. It can’t be that bad.
6. At first, it’s not so bad
I don’t want that cheeseburger. Not at all. Not. At. All.
7. And you even lose your first pound
YES! I am superwoman! I am unstoppable!
8. But then you go out to eat with your friends and they’re all like
Is cake the ONLY thing they eat?
9. But you’re all
This lettuce is delicious. This lettuce is delicious. This lettuce is delicious.
10. And your feelings about this diet begin to change
My motivation…it’s wavering.
11. Your friends try to cheer you on, and you’re like
12. But inside, you’re like
Just leave me alone in this no ice cream world.
13. You realize the weight of your decision
Why did I do this to myself? What’s wrong with me?
14. And you begin to cry yourself to sleep
Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why?
15. Giving up would be so much easier
Just let me go. It’s too hard.
16. But you continue, and this becomes your reaction to everything
You don’t know me. You don’t know where I’ve been. You don’t know what I’ve been through.
17. McDonald’s becomes the object of your desire
You’re so wonderful to me.
18. And your relationship with cake becomes obssessive
You made me so happy. We’re meant to be.
22. And take that first chocolatey, delicious bite
Why yes, I do live life dangerously.
24. But then you decide to stop the charade and tell the truth
There’s no use in lying to yourself anymore.