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The 30 Steps Of Every Single Diet In The World

Time to face reality buddies.

1. It begins when your mom makes a comment about your tight clothes

What does she know? I’ve only gained a pound. I look healthier.

2. But then getting your pants on becomes an exercise

It begins when putting on your pants requires laying on your back and a good thrust. Can’t….breathe….

3. And this becomes your best friend’s reaction when you go out to eat

You’ve only eaten 2 cheeseburgers, fries, chicken nuggets, and a pie with a sundae on the side. She’s just hating…right?

4. So you decide to dust off that old scale in the bathroom

I’m a monnnnsterrrrrrrr!

5. You unwillingly decide to begin your diet

I’ve got this. It can’t be that bad.

6. At first, it’s not so bad

I don’t want that cheeseburger. Not at all. Not. At. All.

7. And you even lose your first pound

YES! I am superwoman! I am unstoppable!

8. But then you go out to eat with your friends and they’re all like

Is cake the ONLY thing they eat?

9. But you’re all

This lettuce is delicious. This lettuce is delicious. This lettuce is delicious.

10. And your feelings about this diet begin to change

My motivation…it’s wavering.

11. Your friends try to cheer you on, and you’re like

12. But inside, you’re like

Just leave me alone in this no ice cream world.

13. You realize the weight of your decision

Why did I do this to myself? What’s wrong with me?

14. And you begin to cry yourself to sleep

Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why?

15. Giving up would be so much easier

Just let me go. It’s too hard.

16. But you continue, and this becomes your reaction to everything

You don’t know me. You don’t know where I’ve been. You don’t know what I’ve been through.

17. McDonald’s becomes the object of your desire

You’re so wonderful to me.

18. And your relationship with cake becomes obssessive

You made me so happy. We’re meant to be.

19. And you realize that life sucks

20. Because every day feels like this

21. So you have a good cry

Why me?!!?

22. And take that first chocolatey, delicious bite

Why yes, I do live life dangerously.

23. At first, you feel like this

24. But then you decide to stop the charade and tell the truth

There’s no use in lying to yourself anymore.

25. And your whole world changes

26. You begin visiting your fridge again

27. And you see the error of your ways

28. This becomes your reaction after eating that last slice of cake

29. And you realize how fabulous you actually are

30. Because let’s face it, who needs diets when you have cookies?

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