1. Blissful Ignorance
Before you have any idea of what’s about to transpire, you’re still happy. Every day is still your birthday, because you are in love.
2. Pause for Thought
It’s been a day, and no word. Did you forget that he’s going out of town? Did you miss something in a previous text? Was there a funeral, perhaps, or a wedding that you can’t recall having been told about?
3. Denial, Stage One
No. You didn’t miss or forget anything. Everything is normal! You will just text him! Like you always do! And he will write back!
5. The First Trip to Wine Town
After three hours with no reply, you decide this is the best way to pass the time.
6. SWEET RELIEF
A text! He missed you! You are fine. All is right with the world. You text back with gleeful abandon…
7. The Beginning of the End
…and yet, you know something isn’t right. The tone is curt; the second reply, not forthcoming. Your blissful ignorance begins to erode.
8. The Multi-Day Dry Spell
Things are becoming all too clear. Despite having crafted and sent what may have been the best Snapchat of your life, you’ve heard nothing for days on end. It’s time to begin to face the music…
9. Emotional Whiplash
…WHEN YOU RECEIVE A CALL FROM HIM. Everything is lost. Confusion sets in. You fail to recognize the difference between joy and sorrow. Who are you? Who is he? What is love, anyway??
10. Anger. Legitimate, Delicious, Righteous Anger.
It’s now been a week since the call. Who does he think he is. You are a delicate, special flower and you deserve to be treated as such.
11. WHY GOD WHY, aka Self-Pity and Self-Doubt
What did you do to deserve this?! You might not make it through. It’s been two weeks. You have been wronged harder than anyone else has been wronged, ever.
Wait. You’re kind of…fine. It’s been two weeks, three days and 45 minutes (or so) since that last call and suddenly…you don’t care.