1. When people sing “Happy Birthday” to you.
People are singing in my face and where am I supposed to be looking??
2. Getting your hair cut and having to make small talk with the stylist.
What do I say? What do I EVEN SAY??
3. Going to a party by yourself where you only know the host.
Don’t leave my side! Oh god.
4. When some asks, “So what’s new with you?” and you literally can’t think of anything to say.
“Oh you know, same old, same old!” *melts into carpet Alex Mack style*
5. Asking the people in your airplane row to move so you can get out and go to the bathroom.
“Pardon me, if you could put down your book and stand up so I can empty my bladder, that would be great. Or it could be a #2, who knows! Anyway, can you please move? Thanks!”
6. Going out with work people and trying to think of something to talk about besides work.
7. Running into that person you were friends with freshman year and then kind of stopped talking to.
“Hey, how you…been?”
9. When you can’t hear someone and have already asked “What?” twice, so the third time you just nod and smile.
Them: “HEY, WHAT TIME IS IT?”
You: “Haha.” nods
10. Being left alone with someone you don’t know and being forced to make small talk.
11. Walking down a long office hallway with someone you know coming toward you.
Look straight ahead.
Look straight ahead but not at them.
Look out the window.
Turn head: “Hi!”
12. The telephone in general.
Oh, I have to CALL to make a doctor’s appointment? I’m probably not that sick anyway.
13. When you’re out with a friend and they run into someone they know, and you have to stand there while they talk to them.
14. When the grocery store cashier says, “Oooh, those look good!” about your groceries.
“Thanks! I picked them out myself!”
16. Going to a crowded bar where no one can really hear each other.
“DO YOU WANT TO GET A DRINK??”
“ANOTHER DRINK DO YOU WANT ONE?”
18. Wanting to be friends with someone you met, but not being sure how to go about it.
For some reason, asking someone if they want to get a platonic drink is as nerve-racking as asking for a date.
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