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Publix Subs Are The Most Delicious Thing To Ever Happen On Earth

If you haven’t had one, you couldn’t possibly understand. posted on

1. Publix is a grocery store gifted straight from the heavenly angels to the southern regions of the United States.

Check out this post to survey its pristine beauty.

2. And everyone knows that the holy of holies of Publix is their glorious, omnipotent, infallible subs.

3. If you’ve never experienced the glory of a Pub Sub, you’re probably wondering what’s soooooo great.

Well, BUCKLE YOUR SANDWICH SEATBELT, BECAUSE YOU’RE IN FOR A HEART-POUNDING RIDE THROUGH RIDICULOUSLY TASTY TOWN.

4. 1. First of all, they use Boar’s Head meat and cheeses.

5. Now THIS is what I call cheese:

6. NOT CHEESE:

7. 2. Also, all of their veggies are ridiculously fresh.

10. The people who work there are really nice.

11. They’ll even go slice you some fresh deli meat if you want something special, like Cajun turkey.

12. Waiting for your sandwich to get made is like watching Michelangelo as he paints delicate brushstrokes onto the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

13. You can get a Cuban sub.

14. Or a Philly cheesesteak sub.

15. Or a custom turkey sub.

16. Or a DELICIOUS veggie sandwich.

17. Or the shining gem in the royal sandwich diadem: the CHICKEN FINGERS sub.

18. But we haven’t even gotten to the most amazing part of a Publix sub. The pièce de résistance. THE BREAD.

19. The beautiful, beautiful bread.

20. The bread is fresher than a drop of vernal dew gently pooling on the leaf of a chrysanthemum.

21. It’s more satisfying than a cold beer and a chair would be to Sisyphus.

22. It’s tastier than a pizza hand-tossed by Jesus himself.

23. The subs come wrapped in these beautiful packages, like sun-dappled Christmas presents on a beautiful December morning.

24. You can take them to the beach!

25. Or feast off the hood of your car.

26. Or pair it with a tub of gelato if you’re feeling sinful.

27. Thank you, Publix, for shining your subs of joy into our dusty, dark world.

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