9 Private Islands That Cost Less Than An Apartment In San Francisco

*weeps gently*

For a cool $3 mil, you can own adorable little Platanitos Island off the coast of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. The number of startup offices here is zero.

 

Or for just over $4MM, you can enjoy this 3-bedroom condo in “the heart of San Francisco,” i.e. the Tenderloin. There are no tropical views, but think of how many drug deals you’ll be able to spot from that rustic patio.

Tokmakia Island off the lush coast of Lesbos is near Turkey. It probably never smells like urine.

 

For under six million, you can live in this three-bedroom condo in Nob Hill. That’s only $23,000/a month in estimated mortgage payments, and think of how much money you’ll save walking to BART.

$10,000,000 will get you Young Island resort, a privately owned luxury resort on its own island in the Grenadines. The island itself encompasses 12.6 acres of tropical hillside surrounded by a white sandy beach and the calm waters of the Caribbean ocean and is developed with a fully-functional hotel. You’ll also own the 29 guest cottages, which you can rent out for mega dinero, or just live in a different one each day of the month.

 

OR you could spend that money on this 3 bedroom penthouse. It doesn’t have a “coconut bar in the sea,” but it does have a dishwasher and earthquake insurance, and cheerful views of… Market Street.

150 acres of Fiji are yours in this South Pacific paradise called Tivi Island. But you can rename it whatever you want. It’s your island.

 

You could alternatively spend your $7 million on this house in Presidio. It looks like a cube. And those low ceilings will be perfect for banging your head against after you give your seven millionth tourist directions to the Golden Gate bridge.

South Saddle Caye off the coast of Belize has abundant coral growth along the eastern and southern shore lines and sparkling blue water, and no old naked men on street corners.

 

This house way out in Bayview is OK. It comes with a ceiling fan.

Fairy Island is a private 1-acre wooded island located on a 120-acre spring-fed lake in southern Wisconsin. It comes with a rustic cottage and your CHOICE of a new pontoon boat or a new ski boat to set sail on from your private 40-foot pier. And it has a cute name.

Alternatively, this “fixer upper” could be yours for the fixing-upping. It’s located near nothing interesting, but it does have a laundry porch.

Monte Kristo is a 2+ acre private Island in Vanuatu, located only 400m from the mainland in South Santo. It boasts a white sand beach where you can dive, snorkel or fish in total privacy.

 

But for almost $200k more, you could get this foreclosed house in Potrero Hill. You have to purchase it all in cash, but it DOES have three bedrooms.

Krokholmen is a private 50 acre Scandinavian oasis off the coast of Bodo, Norway. Purchase of the island includes all building and cabins on the island, which is famous for its clean water, excellent fishing, and sea and mountain adventures in the region surrounding the island.

 

But really, who needs proximity to fjords when you have proximity to the Geary Street bus line.

 

Taghaghien Island off the coast of Egypt features a lovely resort with traditional thatched bungalows, clear and sparkling water, and groves of Egyptian fruit palms. The island includes a natural spring called “Cleopatra’s Bath” and the fragmentary remains of the oracle temple of Amon, with some inscriptions dating from the 4th century BC.

Or for half a million more, you could buy this lot on 10th and Harrison. There’s a car wash on it now, so no tropical fruit groves, but you can get your car washed whenever you want.

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