37 Reasons Miami Is The Best (And Weirdest) City In The U.S.

Maybe the 305 is just too awesome for the rest of America to handle.

1. Because it’s completely acceptable to ride your bike in a crowded intersection with just your bathing suit on.

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2. Because Cuban coffee is more addictive and amazing than any drug.

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3. No one on earth would actually create a highway system like this.

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4. This is your winter coat.

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5. Because sometimes you can look up and see WILD PARROTS just chillaxin’.

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6. Or a duck waddlin’ down the street.

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8. Sadly, no one on Earth has ever been able to get the “Santa’s Enchanted Forest” jingle out of their heads.

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9. Because your school field trips included a trip to the Everglades.

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10. So you could watch a guy do this:

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11. Because cars are tricked out with red rims and prideful flags.

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12. And plastic sharks.

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13. Because Spanglish is the first language.

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14. This is what your January looks like.

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15. Because CUBAN FOOD.

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16. Because your phone recognizes “irregardless” and “pata sucia.”

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17. And where else would a parade be led by a Goya truck?

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18. Because being a chonga is a way of life.

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19. Because you know if a party starts at 7 p.m., no one’s getting there until at least 9.

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20. You regularly have to park next to cars worth more than your life.

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21. Because you spent many a childhood Saturday here.

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22. Because your chancletas work year-round.

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23. Because the rest of the country isn’t tough enough to handle this kind of humidity.

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24. Lime green, purple, pink, aqua, and orange houses? Totally acceptable.

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25. Because the old men tourists in Speedos have permanently blinded you.

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26. Because women get dressed up just to go to the mall.

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27. And these guys don’t even make you flinch.

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28. Because you’ve actually gone to a restaurant with cooling misters.

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29. Because people will forgo other luxuries so they can buy more of these.

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30. Because tanning beds are completely obsolete, any time of year.

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31. Because at least one person on your street raises chickens in her backyard.

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32. Because you’ve never experienced road rage until you’ve experienced Miami road rage.

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33. Because pigs will fly before you ever find a parking spot in Coconut Grove.

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34. Because sometimes (ugh) you feel awkward if you have real boobs.

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35. Because there’s absolutely no one cooler than the old men playing dominoes in Little Havana.

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36. Because this place is way too awesome to actually be real.

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37. Because Will Smith said so.

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