30 Signs You’re Almost 30

It’s 11 p.m. and you want to go out NOW???

1. You get carded, and your first instinct is, “AWESOME.”

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2. Instead of drunken party photos, your Facebook friends are all about the baby pics.

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3. …and marathon times.

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4. You get super excited when you go to a concert and there are SEATS.

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5. You start a story with “when I was in college” and realize that was 10 years ago.

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6. When you watch teen movies/TV shows, you find yourself siding more with the parents than the kids.

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7. You’ve gone to a bar and left because it was too loud.

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8. You have 10,000 business cards from old jobs that you have no idea what to do with.

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9. You’ve become a sunscreen nazi.

… to make up for years of neglect.

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10. You find cool celebs who are in their early thirties and think, There’s still hope.



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11. You’re getting increasingly scared to check your credit score.

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12. You’re seriously thinking about getting a dog. No, having a baby. No, definitely getting a dog.

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13. You’d rather pay a little more for a “nice, clean” hotel room than cram into a hostel with 12 of your friends.

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14. Everything cool is being marketed to people younger than you now.

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15. You’ve definitely lost the enzyme that lets you digest Taco Bell.

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16. There’s an increasing number of musical artists you haven’t even heard of.

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17. Every night you’re like:

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18. You’ve experienced the dreaded TWO-DAY hangover:

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19. You realize your parents were your age (or younger!) when they had you, and you start cutting them some major slack.

…and you view them more and more as friends.

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20. Running hurts your knees. The elliptical hurts your knees. Everything hurts.

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21. Teen slang makes you viscerally angry.

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22. You start buying shoes based on “comfort.”

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23. An 11-year-old has to show you how to do something on your smartphone.

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24. Weekend nights: Instead of having two drinks at four different bars, you have two drinks at one bar then go home.

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25. You voluntarily buy the “fiber” cereal.

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26. You get really excited about lame stuff, like low interest rates.

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27. You wonder, seriously, how you ever pulled an all-nighter.

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28. You’ve uttered the phrase, “I’m too old for music festivals.”

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29. You’ve graduated from Ikea to West Elm.

…or you at least WANT to.

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30. You have been to a party where at least two of your friends brought their babies.

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