Promoted

27 Ways You Are Not Carrie Bradshaw

Are you a “Carrie”? No, you are not.

1. You would never wear this IRL.

2. You are not able to afford your own Upper East Side apartment with the income from one newspaper column.

3. You would have just gone to the damn country house and not made such a BFD about it.

4. If you got mugged, you wouldn’t be most concerned about your sandals, because omg.

5. Nope, how about IN YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT or IN A F*CKING 401(k).

6. You know how a computer works because this isn’t 1956.

7. You are aware of what’s better than a magazine: ACTUAL EFFING FOOD.

8. You’re not this annoying, ugggggh.

9. You have never said this, because gross.

10. Or this.

11. Or THIS.

12. You are not the most DRAMATIC PERSON IN THE WORLD.

13. You would never bring your friend to stalk a guy who’s going to church with HIS MOM.

14. You wouldn’t spend $40,000 on shoes because you have basic common sense.

15. You would never type the WORLD’S MOST ANNOYING SENTENCES.

16. YOU would be totally squeeing if you got to hang out with this dog.

17. You wouldn’t have to have your friends vote before you just took some stuff to Goodwill, OH MY GOD.

18. You know this isn’t true because wtf, that doesn’t even make sense.

19. You have not worn a dress made of a whole octopus family just to go to dinner.

20. You would not say this because you are not a 12-year-old girl on Tumblr.

21. You wouldn’t throw McDonald’s at a wall because your boyfriend was concerned about you giving up your life just to move to Paris with him.

22. You wouldn’t stalk your ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife, because you are a normal person.

23. You wouldn’t threaten to leave someone because they wouldn’t tell you you were “the one” on the sidewalk when you demanded it.

24. YOU wouldn’t cheat on this gorgeous specimen of manhood.

25. You don’t joke around at the drive-thru, because food is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

26. You’re like, “Yeah…so?”

27. You’re like, “No, wtf, what does this mean, seriously.”

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Deputy Editorial Director, BuzzFeed San Francisco
 
  Your Reaction?
  REACT WITH GIF
 

    Contributions

    Here Are The Top Stories
    • More debris – believed to be part of the missing aircraft MH370 – has been found washed up on the Indian Ocean island of Réunion on Sunday.
    • Cilla Black, the legendary English singer and TV star, has died at her home in Spain, according to local police. She was 72 years old.
    • A conservation group at Oxford University told BuzzFeed News that media reports of Jericho's death were not true and that the 11-year-old lion was "alive and well".
    Get The News App

    Hot Buzz

    What Advice Do You Have For People Studying Abroad?

    collection

    What’s The Craziest Celebrity Sex Dream You’ve Ever Had?

    collection

    Now Buzzing