1. Complaining about how they hate listening to the sound of their own voices when transcribing.
2. Waiting in long lines for chopped salad in their local metropolitan areas.
3. Smart takes.
6. Saying they hate Twitter and want to quit it but never actually quitting it.
8. Being “funny” in headlines.
10. Saying “I read you all the time” to someone, having never read anything.
17. Correcting people’s grammar.
19. Spelling it “hed,” “dek,” and “lede” in part just to feel cool.
21. Congratulating people on their new jobs on Twitter.
26. Secretly being obsessed with their Klout scores.
(To the point that they’ll publish screencaps of theirs in blog posts.)