21 Things You Secretly Wish Were Real

You need these. We all need these.

1. This device:

2. Febreze office wars.

6. Something that silences other peoples’ conversations in dressing rooms.

7. A law that bans horizontal scrolling on websites.

8. Bears who ride bumper cars.

9. One of these that can read your card NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU PUT IT IN.

10. Something that can take back texts during this universal moment of regret.

11. Mandatory tattoo spell checking.

12. Something to deal with this.

14. Ink that doesn’t do this.

15. This highway loop:

(Alas, it’s just a clever ad.)

16. Something to fix THIS.

19. A USB Breathalyzer that will keep you from online shopping while drunk.

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