Just look at this. This is the face of utter coolness.
He's amazing with the ladies. Are you this smooth with YOUR crush?
You have never led a choreographed parade down Fifth Avenue:
You have never strutted across the street in "deal with it" shades and a cool sausage necklace.
Ugh, you WISH you could do this to escape awkward situations:
You would be super dead if you did this:
You don't possibly walk with this much swag:
Is this what you look like checking out a hottie from the roof of a taxi? Didn't think so.
You can't even roll out of bed the right way:
You can't even play chopsticks, and this dog is swinging above Manhattan playing a piano with his GODDAMN TAIL:
You use a blow dryer, and Dodger uses NEW YORK CITY:
You are definitely not this.
Nope, this isn't you either.