1. A few classics to warm up the under 30 crowd.
These are things the rest of us already know, but here’s a little education for anyone born in the 90s. (also, remember when celebs used to smoke basically all the time? Weird.)
2. 1. Let’s start with Mr. Marlon Brando
He’s probably always been The Godfather to you
3. So you may have had no idea
About all of this…
4. And this here…
(Stop being so adorable with that cat, Marlon!)
5. 2. Moving on to one Paul Newman
In your mind, he’s always been that super nice guy on the bottles of salad dressing.
7. No seriously, you may need to sit down for this.
8. 3. Moving along to Mr. Martin Sheen
In your mind, he’s the President from The West Wing (or the dad of the coach from the The Mighty Ducks).
9. So let’s turn the clock back to 1979…
10. …and remember how good this man is at staring off into distances.
11. 4. And while we’re on the subject of Sheens…
Some of you have only know this former Two and a Half Men star since he started *ahem*…winning.
13. of why drugs are bad, kids…
So…so bad… *smh*
14. So this is where things might get a little weird for you…
…because there are some men who have been the exact opposite of sexy for basically your whole life.
15. 5. For instance, take silver fox Steve Martin
Your earliest memory of him might be as the dad in Father of the Bride (or the dad in Cheaper by the Dozen), which means you’re entirely unprepared to learn…
16. He wasn’t always so silver…
(he also gets bonus cute points for posing with a cat)
17. I mean, just look at those suspenders.
Go on, Don Draper. Move the hell over!
18. 6. Annnnnnd headin on down to Christopher Walken…
…because he’s always been “that kind of weird dude” in every movie you’ve ever seen.
19. Unless you count that one time he gave a really flirty side-ways glance to Diane Keaton in Annie Hall.
20. Or that other time when he was all sullen and damaged in The Deer Hunter.
21. 7. As long as we’re feeling conflicted, let’s not forget Christoph Waltz.
Since the first time you remember seeing this man he was a seriously evil Nazi in Inglorious Basterds and the second time you remember seeing this man he was a Dentist/Bounty Hunter in Django Unchained - but long before all that…
22. …he made this epic face while grabbing a pair of striped pants.
23. Yep, the jerk from Water for Elephants used to be THIS. PRETTY.
24. 8. One last man to stir up awkward feelings - James Earl Jones
To you, he’s only ever been the dad from Coming to America. Or the voice of the dad from The Lion King. Or, oh yeah… the voice of the dad from Star Wars.
25. Which means this may be even more shocking than learning he was Luke’s Father.
Also, this black and white photo is not doing the man’s baby blues justice.
26. Now, let’s take a quick political detour
so we can feel conflicted in a whole new way.
27. 9. We need to discuss Republican Senator John McCain.
This somewhat jowly former presidential nominee has likely always been more of a grandfather figure to you. But hold onto all of your horses…
28. Because yeah, this used to be a thing.
I’m sorry… “Maverick” who?
29. 10. One more must-see politician - Howard Dean
Before this former Governor of Vermont lost his shiz in a bid for the 2004 Democratic Presidential Nomination…
30. …he looked directly into your soul and made this face.
(It’s like Josh Lyman was real once - and very very shirtless)
31. Heading back over to Hollywood
for one more rapid-fire round of mind-blowing hotness.
32. 11. It’s very possible the first time you saw Mr. Benicio Del Toro
he was tripping balls in a convertible while driving Johnny Depp through the desert. So it’s understandable…
33. …if this is all brand new information.
34. 12. Up next, Mickey Rourke
In your mind, this is the guy who beat up on Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man 2.
35. So we’ll pause a moment to swoon.
36. Ok, maybe two moments.
37. 13. Alright, one more - Ozzy Osbourne
Before he was a reality show star, and before he was biting off the heads of doves as the lead singer of Black Sabbath…
39. Ok seriously, where the hell did this come from??
(p.s. go Sharon!)
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