6 Things I've Learned From My Guy Friends

I've had the pleasure of maintaining relationships with a couple idiots I went to high school with and after 8 years of observation, here's what I've learned.

1. Guys Treat Girls They Like Differently...They Even Treat Them Well..

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If you've ever been in an 'it's complicated' situation and you can't discern whether or not it's going anywhere, having guy friends makes it's pretty easy to decide. I remember when they first started bringing girls home from college, it was kind of a big deal. They were attentive, 'Do you need a drink?', 'Are you cold?' and because I'm nosy I'd crane and hear them ask, 'Are you having a good time?'. These aren't things I was accustom to hearing or seeing. They were putting forth a solid effort. So if a guy isn't bringing you home, isn't introducing you to his friends, isn't asking how you are.. You're better off going from it's complicated to it's over. You'll find a guy who will offer you his jacket and make sure you're always well hydrated.

2. Respect

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As far as my guy friends are concerned I'm a dude with boobs. Very rarely am I sheltered from their locker room talk or disgusting stories of what I can only assume is mediocre sex. With that being said, they have always respected me. They say disgusting things to me, about me, for me but they've never disrespected me.

When a guy respects you, he respects your boundaries. My guy friends have never tried to sleep with me. Sure, we've talked about it - not all at once, that sounds exhausting. But there are always a few of your guy friends who you're not completely repulsed by. Those few, never push you because they respect you. That's what it's like when a guy respects you - he won't push you into anything you're not comfortable with. This is vital to developing healthy relationships and it's important to learn early on what real respect looks and feels like.

3. Guys Are Insecure

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News Flash: We're all insecure. No one is immune to self-doubt or not being completely happy with themselves. Unfortunately, this is something assumed to be unique to women. It's not. My guy friends have divulged information to me that they haven't shared with anyone else. There's a level of comfort with someone you've known since middle school. I'm not happy they have insecurities but I am relieved to know that we're all in the same self-deflating boat sometimes. We're all battling something, so it's important to be kind. Whether it's a guy you're interested in or the guy that asks to borrow your notes...be nice, you don't know what kind of battle he's fighting.

This is also a great test run at intimacy. If you're awkward or uncomfortable with this kind of exchange then maybe you're not ready for a relationship. And that's okay, you just got the experience without having the heartbreak, that's a definite win.

4. Guys Can Be Shockingly Supportive

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During a particularly rough time, every guy in my rotation, stood me up. Guy after guy would stand me up and then disappear. It was like the Bermuda Triangle of dating, no one ever came back. Obviously, this left me a little hurt and extremely confused so I reached out to my girlfriends for advice. Their responses and attempted explanations ran the gamete of, "He's not good enough for you," to "Sometimes, you're a little too much, maybe dial it back a bit in the beginning." I appreciated their input but it left more to be desired.

I decided to seek council from my idiots, who better to explain why a gaggle of men had run from me than guys I used to chase during recess? Not one of them suggested I alter who I am. Instead, they explained me, to me. They told me I can be intimidating and some guys can't handle that which spoke more to a compatibility issue than a character flaw I possessed. They were as honest as they were supportive and their perspective was just what I needed to get over my empty roster.

5. Guys Say What They Mean

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Don't take what a guy says and turn it into some cryptic bullshit. If a guy says he just wants to be friends, LISTEN. It doesn't matter if 10 minutes later he's trying to see down your shirt, chances are he's a moron who wants to penetrate you. 9 times out of 10 this kind of behavior means he wants a free pass to see you naked without remembering your birthday. If that's what you want, by all means get laid! However, if you're secretly waiting for the perfect opportunity to trick him into watching 'The Notebook' then casual sex might not be your jam.

Guys don't play hard to get and if they do - do you really want to call that your boyfriend?

6. Don't Change Who You Are

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My idiots have a broad and bizarre range of interests. From WWE Wrestling to paying strangers to shoot at them - they have eccentric hobbies. They don't require girls they're interested in to follow wrestling or shoot a bazooka. Actually, they've yet to date any girls who share their exact interests. If they wanted to date a mirror image of themselves, they'd date each other and circle jerk.

It doesn't matter how normal or strange your interests are; they're yours and they make you, you. When you put your life and passions on hold in hopes of attracting some guy who doesn't even know you exist - you're missing out on someone who would totally be into your dead bug collection or your mass quantity of cartoon porn.