13 Things Cashiers Hate.

It's not like I chose this job. I just need the money... but I guess that means I gotta deal with you twats.

1. "Are you open?"

No, I'm closed. My register light is just on for absolutely no reason.

(It's even more annoying when the closed sign is out and my light isn't on.)

2. "The prices here are outrageous!"

I don't make the prices. I just ring your groceries through and bag them. Don't complain to me, please.

3. When a couple starts fighting in line.

Not only is it awkward for me, but you're in public, people. Have some class.

Go home and scream at each other.

I don't wanna listen to you argue about what kind of soap you should have gotten.

4. When people place their baskets on the belt.

Are you seriously that lazy that you can't take your items in the basket?

5. When a customer is on their phone the whole time.

Actual conversation I had overheard once:

"Yeah, so I was like, you go girl! I can't believe you took that young man home and you BANGED him on the front lawn!" ... "And then I was like, that is your MOTHER - why don't YOU clean it up?"

...No joke.

6. "Can I have 3 packs of Marlboro Lights, 4 packs of L&M green 100's, 4 packs of Marlboro Black 100's, 5 cartons of Newport Red 100's and a pack of Virginia Slim Menthols, please?"

Uhhh, can you repeat that like seven times?

...But what I really wanna know is why you need that many cigarettes - and that many different kinds...

7. "That means it's free!"

Just because it doesn't scan doesn't mean it's free, you twat.

That would mean half of our store is free.

Plus, we've all heard that one at least 50 times in the past week.

8. People that come in 3 minutes before closing - and grab a cart.

"I just need to grab a few things!" Yeah, bullshit.

We've all heard that one, too. You're not fooling anyone.

9. Getting creeped on.

Yes, I know I'm a female working in a grocery store.

No, that doesn't mean you can hit on me.

No, that doesn't mean it's acceptable for you to wink at me.

And no, that doesn't mean you can make creepy and disturbing comments towards me, either.

And no, being old is not an excuse.

10. Old deaf people.

"I said your total was $24.79."

"No, $24.79."

"Twenty four dollars. And seventy nine cents."

11. "Where's your bathroom?"

Find it yourself. Do you know how many times a day I have to answer this question?

12. "I have more than 10 items, is that okay?"

NO IT IS NOT OKAY BUT I CAN'T SAY THAT.

There's a reason it's 10 items and under, you know.

Express. Lane. EXPRESS.

EXPRESS = FAST.

13. Assholes.

Seriously, don't be a douche.

I have to deal with you fuckers all day.

Don't complain about everything.

Get a therapist, or something.