1. The house with the pool becomes the most popular on the street.
2. Even the crocs come by for a swim.
3. You can’t go out without your zinc war paint on.
4. You feel protected when the red and yellow lifeguard flags appear along the beaches.
5. And you’re almost tempted to get caught in a rip.
6. You get sand EVERYWHERE, and keep finding it in random places for the next three months.
7. Everything gets decorated for Christmas — a white Christmas, to be precise.
8. Even though the closest you’ve ever come to such a thing is the colour of the sand at the beach.
9. The frangipani are in full bloom, and their scent fills the air.
10. The heat is unbearable, but you still long for the mercury to rise above 40ºC, ‘cause legend has it that means you get a day off school or work.
11. At least you still have hours of sunlight at the end of the day to walk your dog/play backyard cricket/do whatever the hell you want.
12. And before long, everyone in the country goes on holidays.
14. And the life of those who play it.
15. And, on special occasions, the whole beach.
16. You go barefoot most of the time, and the soles of your feet become one giant callus thanks to being stabbed by bindis, burned by dry sand, and scorched by bitumen.
17. If you’re feeling a bit fancy, you bring out the thongs.
18. Men walk around shirtless 85% of the time.
Have we mentioned how awesome it is?
19. Of course, they’re not always shirtless. Sometimes they put on a singlet.
20. You learn to use your hands as little as possible while driving. Because the steering wheel, it burns.
21. Between Field Day, the Big Day Out, Soundwave, Laneway and Future Music, your whole budget is pretty much blown on music festivals.
Where you just get drunk and injured.
23. And your nights smell of Aerogard.
24. You fall asleep to the sound of frogs.
26. Hot chips by the beach are an open invitation to seagulls.
27. Fire bans and water restrictions are just part of your routine.
28. But half the country still catches fire. :(
29. Afterwards, everyone bands together to help out their mates (who can sometimes be strangers).
30. Christmas beetles attach themselves to anything and everything,
31. And a fly goes in your mouth/up your nose on a semi-regular basis.
32. The best part of your afternoon is having a Gaytime.
33. And you go through at least one packet of Zooper Doopers a week.
34. Your oven gets neglected ‘cause it’s barbie season (and not the doll kind).
35. Prawns and beer are a completely acceptable option for dinner.
36. Your day isn’t complete until you have mango juice running down your arms.
37. And there’s a good chance you’ll see the prime minister in his budgie smugglers.
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›