1. These hopeful butts who are terrible at soccer and just want to end their losing streak with clear eyes and full hearts.
2. This romantic butt who has never met a more beautiful neck in his life, and is thinking about proposing.
3. This wistful butt who dreams of a better life, somewhere over the rainbow, where a wizard will grant her a brain and she can finally be one of the smart arses.
4. This distressed butt who is in deep, deep trouble and just needs to be rescued by Ben Affleck.
5. This bored butt who teaches primary school but yearns to leave annoying five-year-olds behind to display her culinary skills on Masterchef.
6. This ambitious butt who wants to take the lead and show the world that everything is coming up butts.
7. This inspirational butt who wants to be a head and will never ever give up, no matter what the haters say.
8. This determined butt who has been training for 27 months to be a kitty trampoline.
9. This guilty butt who secretly wants an open relationship but is too afraid to admit it to his head.
10. This ferocious butt who is a fighter, she's not gonna give up, she's not gonna stop, she's gonna work harder.
11. This dedicated butt who practices her talent for the beauty pageant at least six hours a day.
12. This sensitive butt who is prepared to do whatever it takes to stop some of the world's most important monuments from falling down.
13. This amorous butt who has been waiting for his chance to confess his feelings to his best friend for so long, he just couldn't help himself and had to seize this opportunity to makeout.
14. This exasperated butt who has had enough with sitting in trees - he just wants to stay on the ground where it's nice and secure and nothing ever breaks, especially his heart.
15. This flirtatious butt who has had her eye on this dolphin for the last 45 minutes and has finally worked up the courage to make her move.
16. This armed butt who just came out to have a good time and is honestly feeling so attacked right now.
17. This loyal butt who experienced love at first sight with this swing and will never let go, no matter how hard others try to separate them.
18. This innocent butt who just wants to see her grandmother one last time before the bear eats her for lunch.
19. This beautiful butt who never felt good enough. "Do I look pretty now, mama? AM I PRETTY ENOUGH NOW?!"
20. This dangerous butt who is sick of all this goddamn ocean taking up our planet and being unihabitable, and plans to evaporate it, one drop at a time.
21. This town of excited butts who want to commemorate the day this train appeared and reminded them that they're not alone in the world.
22. These synchronised butts who are sure they can win gold at the next Olympics, if they believe in themselves enough.
23. And this holy butt who is definitely the Second Coming and is going to set off the rapture any day now.
