1. Here is a small fact: turtlenecks are the worst clothing item known to man.
2. Turtlenecks are the work of the devil.
3. They were invented to fool us into thinking we were comfortable.
4. To fool us into thinking we looked smart.
5. To fool us into thinking we were warm and safe.
6. When really they keep sucking out our awesomeness.
7. They feed on it until there’s nothing left but an empty shell.
10. Turtlenecks make PUPPIES sad.
11. Have you ever seen a happy animal in a turtleneck?
13. They KNOW turtlenecks are evil.
14. Turtlenecks are not good for your health.
15. Turtlenecks are not good for your happiness.
16. Turtlenecks are not good for your LIFE.
17. Turtlenecks. Are. Not. Good.
18. Not even Kate Bosworth looks good in a turtleneck.
19. Not even TURTLES look good with turtlenecks.
20. You know when The Rock got awesome? When he stopped wearing turtlenecks.
21. Turtlenecks are not your friend.
22. Turtlenecks are coming for you.
24. Turtlenecks will never let you go.
26. Stop them before they take over your life.
27. Before they take over THE WORLD.
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