17 Things Only American Children Of Portuguese Immigrants Will Understand

Because we all know the porkchop life has its own rules.

1. You have too many relatives to count.

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Seriously, a "small family get-together" for you is like five American families having a reunion.

2. "Bagasse" is the milk to your Dad's cookies

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He pretty much thinks American moonshine is just apple juice.

3. Half of your family is die-hard Sporting and the other is die-hard Benfica

The Red Sox/Yankees debate is like a playground argument compared to this one.

4. The double-cheek kiss

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Don't think your great aunt will let you get away with just one cheek.

5. Fried dough is a common (and heavenly) dessert handmade in your kitchen

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But your grandmother will only give you some if you ask for a "filhós."

6. Your dad had a donkey he would ride around his village

It was the most common form of transportation in the old country.

7. The Virgin Mary is watching you everywhere you go

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It's not a Portuguese household without a Mary in each room.

8. Sagres is the Budweiser of your household

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And it's dang better, too.

9. Rabbit is a common main course for Christmas dinner

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So that's what happened to Hoppy...

10. The sound of your female relatives singing is difficult to differentiate from screaming cats

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Seriously, how is it that they ALL sound that way?

11. If you have an American name, you can bet your relatives will pronounce it wrong

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I've been called "Gina" for my entire life. It's "Jenna", guys, come on...

12. As a kid, you can bet you wore one of these outfits

Typically with more floral present.

13. Some of the only people you're taller than in the world are your aunts and uncles

And even then, it's about 3 inches tops.

14. When you were little, your aunt/great-aunt/grandmother would scream Portuguese words at you and drag you by the elbow to make you say them in front of the whole family

"BOA NOITE"

15. This guy

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He's ceramic and well-populates your house.

16. Your dog has to stay outside

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Because that's how it is in the old country.

17. But remember, all they really want is for you to bring home that nice Portuguese girl/boy you've known since you were three

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But even if you marry that American who doesn't know a lick of Portuguese, they'll love you anyway because being Portuguese is all about family.