1.
The endless desire to stroke your beard as you mull things over.
2.
Or to use your beard-scratching as a power move during conversation.
3.
The eternal risk of Ice Cream Beard.
5.
Or really any Food Beard. So you may as well embrace it.
6.
The feeling when you reenter the world after giving your beard a thorough trimming.
7.
The day you realize you have considerably more hair on your face than on top of your head.
8.
When you overhear your crush saying they don't like facial hair.
9.
When you've done something new with your beard and you're waiting for someone to notice.
10.
When your family decides to debate if you should keep or shave your beard as though you aren't in the room.
11.
When you see someone else with a beard and you give them the nod of respect.
12.
And they give you the nod of respect back.
13.
And then you both see someone with a beard you could never hope to grow.
14.
When you decide to shave the beard but leave the mustache, just to see what it's like.
15.
When you grow a beard for the first time and you can't stop looking in the mirror.
16.
When you're experimenting with different levels of scruff, and then one day you wake up and:
17.
When someone tries to tell you that beards are just a fad.
18.
And, of course, the endless clarification that having a beard does not make you a hipster.
