1. You hate when people ask you “How do you say that in English?”
Well being that it’s not English it can’t be said in English.
2. And the baristas at Starbucks either misspell or mispronounce it.
3. You get asked “What is that?” alot.
By “that” they probably mean ethnicity or nationality.
4. It frustrates you that your name is so common other places, but not where you live.
5. You constantly have to walk people thorough pronunciation.
Benedict Cumberbatch” “Bene” as in “Benny and the Jets.” “Dict” as is in “dictionary.” “Cumber” as in “cuke.” And “Batch” as in “cookies.”
6. And then you have to repeat it multiple times because no one understands what you just said.
7. You’ve had arguments with others over pronunciation.
“No, no, no Jorge is pronounced whore-hey, not George.”
8. Then you get asked “So, what country are you from?”
Different name doesn’t always mean different country.
9. And then the cultural questions. “Can you belly dance? Do you speak ———- language?”
Well being a bilingual belly dancer certainly can’t hurt you.
10. Calling a customer service hotline is the worst.
“It’s X-i-c-a. X as in xylophone, I as Ice, C as in cat, and A as in Apple.”
11. You give a common name to a hostess/host, because you fear they can’t say yours.
“There is no way he is going to be able to say Zhang Wei. Uh, table for three the name is Bobby.”
12. In fact you have a go-to fake name for these situations.
And sometimes you forget your fake name.
14. But you are filled with delight when you find souvenirs that do.
15. After you give someone your name they immediately ask you what your nickname is.
“Well, what else can I call you?”
16. And if your name sounds like it has an English equivalent people immediately call you that.
“Oh, Juan. Can I just call you John?”
17. Roll call was the bane of your existence.
They never get it right the first time and always repeat, repeat, repeat.
18. And many times your name is thought to have a deep and insightful meaning.
“What does João mean? Uh, it’s just Portuguese for John.”