1. Using dry shampoo because it’s to cold out to leave the house with wet hair.
4. Putting off shaving your legs because they are not seeing the light of day for a very long time.
They are actually hibernating.
5. Letting the provisions in your house get dangerously low because you don’t want to brave the elements to get groceries.
7. Doing this to your significant other on purpose.
Touching them with your cold, dead, frozen feet.
8. Letting yourself go just a little because it’s too chilly to go work out.
The extra layers provide warmth.
9. Getting into at least one fender bender because of icy roads.
“I swear those steps popped out of nowhere.”
10. Seeing if your tongue will really stick to a frozen pole.
It will! Don’t try it!
12. Using the weather as an excuse to fuel your Netflix addiction.
13. Loathing that ineviable bath or shower.
Cold water is the worst.
16. Dressing your pets in warm clothing even though they probably never go outdoors.
A kitten mitten.
17. Justifying not doing laundry or wearing soiled clothing because “It’s cold so you’re not sweating anyway.”
As long as they pass the smell test they’re good.
18. Faking an illness and calling in sick because you can’t possibly face another Polar Vortex.
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