1. Battling through nerves your first day as an altar server.
“Don’t spill the wine, don’t spill the wine, DON’T SPILL THE WINE.”
2. You still haven’t forgotten the awkwardness of the First Communion outfit…
3. … And your mom still proudly displays the photos so you get to relive the awkwardness over and over.
4. You had a love-hate relationship with uniforms.
It was nice to not have to pick out an outfit each day, but they itched like crazy.
5. Growing up, the definition of sin always confused you.
6. You were totally, totally lost when it came to folding the palm tree leaves into a cross on Palm Sunday.
7. You felt extremely guilty about taking the Lord’s name in vain in front of religious relics at home.
8. At church dances you always had to abide by the Bible length rule.
9. You loved Christmas, but fought to stay awake during midnight mass.
10. You somehow always got a meat craving every Friday of Lent.
11. And you slowly got tired of a diet of Filet-O-Fish.
Fish aren’t square when they’re swimming in the ocean.
12. However, you always managed to overindulge on Easter candy the second Lent was over.
13. You sometimes had very “interesting” literature at your house.
14. You always had to fight the crowds before and after mass to dip your fingers in holy water.
15. You never knew exactly what to say during confession.
“Should I come in with a laundry list or should I just generalize?”
16. Your knees physically ached because of how much you prayed.
17. You got hit with overwhelming guilt when you didn’t have any money for the collection plate.
18. Strangers always said, “You have something on your head” on Ash Wednesday, but you wore it with a sense of PRIDE.
19. You have a large stack of church bulletins at home because you can never bring yourself to throw them away.
20. You always tried to chew the Eucharist as fast as you could before receiving the Blood of Christ.
21. Getting a parking space for the Easter Vigil required aggression and a little bit of improvisation.
22. You knew incense was holy, but couldn’t hide the fact that it made your eyes water.
23. You scoffed at always getting a secondary role during the Nativity play.
Everyone knew that Mary, Joseph, and Jesus were the primetime roles.