1. Because their very name is misleading.
2. So your first experience of an actual mince pie was probably laden with disappointment.
3. And the fruity filling is still referred to as "mincemeat", which makes no sense at all.
4. The only meaty thing about them is that they sometimes contain suet, a fat found around the kidneys and loins of beef and mutton.
5. They have raisins in them, the shrivelled, unwanted outcast of the fruit world.
6. The filling is just a dark, depraved, fruity free-for-all. Just look at it.
7. So you don't really know what to expect when you bite into them.
8. Mince pies hog the Christmas dessert limelight, meaning more noble, deserving desserts get neglected.
9. Every year you will think "This year, this will be the year mince pies make sense to me. In the same way my palette adjusted to coffee, it will adjust to mince pies."
me: maybe i'll like mince pies now me, after eating one: did satan just shit in my mouth?
And every year you're left bitterly disappointed.
10. Only the pastry is decent, but in social situations you can't just leave a mincy blob on the plate.
Every year I become better at hiding the fact that I only eat the pastry of a mince pie never the filling
11. But then puff pastry mince pies exist, which are even worse than normal ones.
12. And such is the popularity of mince pies, they'll probably be the only snack on offer at any occasion until January.
13. This mince pie looks like it's vomiting. It knows it's gross.
Tesco Iced Top Mince Pies - my left molar hurts 6/10
14. Why must we pretend that orange peel, the only bit of an orange that nobody eats, is a worthwhile addition to a pie?
15. And sometimes you bite into a hard bit of rind and it's the worst.
16. It's started to infiltrate other foods too.
So now mince pie flavour ice cream is a thing. No. Just no.
17. Mince pies just don't know their place, which is in the bin.
This is a new addition to the strange flavours of popcorn I've discovered , mince pie flavour. #strangefoodstuffs
18. And definitely not inside cookies.
Tesco have mince pie cookies, I'm scared to taste them! #Tesco #dublin #Ireland #mince #pie #christmas15
19. Frankly, it's obscene.
Tesco unleashes Mince Pie flavoured crisps on the nation
20. Don't be fooled by the fact that they're covered in so much icing sugar.
21. It's all an act to disguise the darkness within.
