1.
Can't wait for Valentines Day. I'm gonna run into as many restaurants as I can shouting "Knew I'd find you here! You bastard" then run out.
2.
Can we drop the pretense of "President's Day" and just call it "I needed a long weekend because Valentine's Day is garbage"
3.
I have a valentine, but she goes to another school. also she's modeling overseas right now.
4.
Joke's on you, people trying to make me feel bad about Valentine's Day -- I feel bad every day
5.
me on valentine's day
6.
i dont need a valentine i need 8 million dollars and a fast metabolism
7.
Valentine's Day is bullshit. (If I don't get something I will probably cry)
8.
Let's all take a moment of silence this Valentine's Day to think about the couples who started dating end of January
9.
HOW TO MAKE A VALENTINE: 1. Get paper 2. Color paper red 3. It looks like bleeding paper 4. This used to be a living tree 5. We are monsters
10.
the white boy valentines card
11.
Impress your lady this Valentine's Day by giving her a delicious gourmet box of listening
12.
I told my wife her Valentine's Day gift this year is the privilege of being married to me. She's so happy she still hasn't stopped crying.
13.
You are never alone on Valentine's Day if you're near a lake and have bread.
14.
If we get to have sex with our valentines on Valentine's Day I can't wait until Presidents' Day.
15.
This Valentines give her what she really wants: a throne forged from the bones of her enemies & a relentless reign of terror over the masses
16.
Today's Friday the 13th, tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Can't wait to not get lucky two days in a row
17.
White chocolate: The Valentine's Day gift that says, "I don't really love you."
18.
Blow her mind this Valentine's Day by PUTTING YOUR OWN DAMN DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER BRANDON THEY DON'T NEED TO "SOAK"
19.
Happy Valentines Day aka spend $200 to avoid a fight
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