1. 1. Someone attempts to offend you, but it rolls right off of your shoulder, because you can tell the difference between a true insult and a comeback generated by nothing but hurt feelings.
2. 2. When you see something you don’t like, you immediately say something. Then, after you receive an angry reaction, you think, OMG, why are you upset? It’s just the truth.
3. 3. Your friends come to you because you give the “realest” advice.
4. 4. When you’re in a new social situation, people who laugh at your harsh jokes become your best friends.
5. 5. You become aware you’re blunt, so you try to tone it down, but then a friend says something like, “You’re so blunt; I love you,” and you’re like:
6. 6. If someone catcalls you, you don’t keep walking. You stop and tell them what their momma should have.
7. 7. When you’re in a relationship, you have to watch everything you say, because you tend to say things like, “Text me back, or die.”
8. 8. You claim you’re just being sarcastic, but the truth is, you know your heart’s so cold and merciless, you could shack up with the Ice Queen from Narnia. But it’s all out of love.
9. 9. You can single out a few occasions where words have literally flown out of your mouth before your brain could even check them. And you weren’t even sorry, even if you should’ve been.
10. 10. When you’re eating dinner with a group of people, you’re constantly interrupting conversation to give your two cents. And you hate it, but you do it.
11. 11. People compare you to Khloe Kardashian. Which, like, is the best compliment EVER.
12. 12. You spot a hot-to-trottie at the bar, and you’ve got an arsenal of sweet-talking compliments to give out, because rejection in no way scares you.
14. 14. You are the friend referred to as “handled in small doses,” but you’re also the friend invited everywhere, because you’re the life of the party.
15. 15. When you think of the perfect human being, it’s either April Ludgate or Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation.
16. 16. Friends call you a choice word starting with the letter “b” on the reg, and your response is:
17. 17. When you can’t say what you want to say, your words are all over your face.
18. 18. You’ve perfected an eyebrow raise for these situations, as well.
19. 19. And an ever-useful side-eye for purposes of discretion.
20. 20. When you’re feeling really frustrated, you Twitter rant, or Facebook rant, and most people consider it ironic genius.
In The News Today
- There were three stabbings in Jerusalem on Monday, part of a monthlong wave of violence between Israelis and Palestinians. ›