17 Things You Don’t Say To A Woman With Short Hair

Short hair, don’t care.

1. 1. So why’d you cut it?

I wanted to.

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2. 2. You’re in that experimental phase of your life.

Is that what this is?

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3. 3. Well, hair grows back.

I had no idea.

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4. 4. But you looked so nice with long hair.

Your half-hearted attempt at complimenting me has made me feel completely fabulous.

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5. 5. Do you like it?

No way. I did this because I wanted to hate my hair.

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6. 6. Do you like girls now?


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7. 7. Or bisexual?


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8. 8. Did you do it to save money on shampoo and conditioner? Smart.

Oh, yes, purely economic reasons. No woman would ever do this because she simply likes it.

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9. 9. You probably shouldn’t wear combat boots anymore.

Still wearing combat boots. Sorry not sorry.

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10. 10. I could never cut my hair like that. Like EVER. But it totally looks good on you, though.

Thank you for letting me know.

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11. 11. But boys like long hair?

Because naturally anything a woman does should make her more appealing to men.

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12. 12. Um … it looks nice.

That awkward hesitation you exhibited before the issued compliment makes me uneasy, and I’m not sure if I should say thank you.

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13. 13. You remind me of Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I appreciate your creative comparison.

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14. 14. But it looks good! I swear.

Oh, I totally believe you now.

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15. 15. Most people’s faces look really fat when they cut their hair short. But you don’t.

I know what you’re really thinking, and I’m OK with that. Your secret is safe with me, bud.

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16. 16. It’s sorta cool, because you can wear so much more makeup now and you won’t look like you’re trying too hard, because your hair will balance it out.

So I guess I look like I’m just not “trying” at all without makeup on, because my hair is short. Fair.

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17. 17. Do you ever worry someone might mistake you for a man?

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