Buzz·Posted on 26 Nov 201527 Superhero Tweets Guaranteed To Make You Laugh Every Time"What idiot named him Spider-Man instead of Peter Parkour?"by Jamie JonesBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Lucas Neff @RealLucasNeff Billionaire: I'd like to do something about crime. Butler: Being poor, I've got some great ideas-- Billionaire: I want to dress as a bat. 08:39 PM - 02 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Adam Kay @amateuradam There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman. So, in answer to your question - probably a bird. 08:58 PM - 17 Oct 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. pat tobin @tastefactory IRON MAN: *blasts villain with beams* THOR: *swings mighty hammer and creates a storm* CAPTAIN AMERICA: America! Yeah! Hell yeah! 05:18 PM - 29 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. pat tobin @tastefactory HULK:*smashes a tank* IRON MAN:*flies bomb into space to save mankind* HAWKEYE: I have an arrow w/ your name on it pal, hold on stand still 07:35 PM - 31 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Paul @baldybhoy Guy in work is called Wayne Bruce. He's known as Manbat,probably the best nickname ever. 03:38 PM - 13 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Melissa Trender @Tarrigan Spider van Spider van How do spiders drive a van? 10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go? Get in. Get in the Spider Van. 04:30 PM - 07 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. MJ @sucittaM I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts "Batman" when he's drunk. I know I do. 06:23 PM - 14 Jan 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott Batman: Gotham City is under attack. Aquaman: IMMA SPLASH 'EM Batman: No, Aquaman. Just stop- Aquaman: 07:30 PM - 04 Aug 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. the garbage shit boy @davedittell what if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside 12:00 AM - 08 Sep 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. PapeяWash© @PaperWash Commissioner: we'll need to stay in touch Batman: ok Commissioner: this stealth communication device will- Batman: LETS USE A GIANT SKY LAMP 06:31 PM - 06 Oct 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith Hello, oh you don't have a ramp I guess, okay well lets talk in the driveway my name is Professor X and I run a school for monster babies 03:12 AM - 16 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Rob Fee @robfee I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?" 01:05 AM - 20 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. refriend beans @pharmasean Guys, be glad that spider bit peter Parker and not a horse. I mean could you imagine, could you even imagine. 07:43 PM - 16 Sep 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Erren Michaels @ErrenMichaels Superman: I am an all powerful alien with only one weakness. Batman: Is it bats? Please say bats. 04:24 PM - 18 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt [Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style. 04:14 PM - 01 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Br&on the Cow @Brampersandon_ [White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand* 08:14 PM - 18 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. tony @crylenol What idiot named him Spider-Man instead of Peter Parkour? 09:52 PM - 24 May 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. jomny sun @jonnysun hey ther delilah wats it like in gotham city is the joker stil in jail-- i mean yes babe u look so prety yes u do batman is not a cool as u 04:33 PM - 25 Jul 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. [⋅.⋅ ] ( °_°) @sleepwalkingdog Lois: "I saw Batman yesterday. He's put on a lot of weight" Clark: *lowers glasses* "More like Fat- Lois: "Oh my god it's Superman" 08:04 AM - 03 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Pixelated Boat @pixelatedboat Spiderman, Spiderman/ Does whatever a spider can/ Attends college/ Works as a photographer/ Just like a spider 10:36 PM - 09 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. dan mentos @DanMentos [guy in charge of naming superheroes] Superman, next Batman, next Wonder Woman, next Aquaman, next *takes a hit of acid* Green Lantern 06:57 PM - 09 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5 Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump. 06:17 AM - 16 Feb 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Eldge @Sickayduh BATMAN: I am the guardian of the night SPIDERMAN: With great power comes great responsibility CATWOMAN: Guys, help, I'm stuck in a tree 01:01 AM - 04 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Mark Leggett @markleggett I think comic book bad guys have the right idea, aiming their weapons directly at Captain America's shield. That's probably his weak point. 07:59 AM - 30 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. Dan O'Brien @OtherDanOBrien Not to victim-blame, but maybe Bruce Wayne’s father shouldn’t have brought his wife and 8 yr old son to a place called Crime Alley. 02:08 PM - 05 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. David Hughes @david8hughes [Bat symbol lights up Gotham's sky] "Gordon needs me, the city needs me." [Robin waving flashlight around] "Oh wow look they need me too." 12:19 PM - 14 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Earthman Adam @AdamOfEarth Iron Man, Iron Man, does everything an Iron can Gets real hot on a mat, makes your clothes get really flat Look out! Here comes the Iron Man 03:19 AM - 19 May 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite