Buzz·Posted on 1 Aug 201544 Jokes About Animals Guaranteed To Make You Laugh"There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house."by Jamie JonesBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. My Wife by @lanyardigan lanyard @lanyardigan Please. My wife. She's very sick. 01:32 AM - 03 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Bear Attack by @tigersgoroooar Pony Starwars @tigersgoroooar There’s gotta be a few seconds during a bear attack where the bear is huggin you and you’re just like “aww.” 04:49 AM - 27 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Apples by @GarrettCake g cake @GarrettCake HEY PIGS STOP TRYING TO SWALLOW ENTIRE APPLES YOU KEEP DYING 09:45 PM - 31 Aug 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Existential Cat by @SimplyNigel Barica @SimplyNigel When life is getting so deep you have to stop being a cat for a min to collect your thoughts 11:38 AM - 06 Jul 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. ilovedogs by @ruinedpicnic josh @ruinedpicnic [please enter a password] ilovedogs [password must contain at least one capital] iloveparisdogs 03:40 PM - 11 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Wolf Vows by @DanKCharnley Danny Charnley @DanKCharnley if i ever get married, i will absolutely mention wolves in my vows 11:01 PM - 24 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. How Many Chameleons? by Megan Amram Megan Amram @meganamram There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house 08:54 PM - 15 Jan 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Bird Guide by @joeheenan joe heenan @joeheenan As I'm one of Britain's leading ornithologists, here's a guide to some birds you might see in your garden this summer 07:24 PM - 08 Jun 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. Duck Search History by @marinhubka Marin Hubka @marinhubka Duck internet search history: Bread Bread pudding? what is "breadwinner" how to become breadwinner where to win bread Duck boobs Free bread 06:00 PM - 30 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Bird Swing by @sad_tree sad tree @sad_tree Good thing you put a swing in your birds cage he's probably on that thing like "MAN THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN FLYING" 10:46 PM - 18 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Animal Testing by @BoobsRadley Julieanne Smolinski @BoobsRadley I'm against animal testing, unless of course you're testing little top hats and miniature sunglasses. 05:44 PM - 01 Jan 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Space Lobster by @nevesytrof JD @nevesytrof Lobster in a bucket or MIGHTY SPACE CRUSTACEAN? 08:17 PM - 13 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. We Talked About This by @NicCageMatch Jessie @NicCageMatch Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!" 03:43 PM - 10 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Male Seahorse by @trumpetcake Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake I'm similar to a male seahorse in the following ways: 1.) cool hair 2.) baby pouch 3.) never seen an owl up close 02:34 PM - 14 Apr 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Porcupine Sex by @Bill_Nye_tho i aint even Bill Nye @Bill_Nye_tho I STRAIGHT UP HAVE NO IDEA HOW PORCUPINES FUCK EACH OTHER 03:07 AM - 31 Aug 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Parachute Dog by @UpturnedBathtub John F. Brennan @UpturnedBathtub I like to imagine that this dog has just completed a parachute jump and landed on a woman. 06:22 PM - 04 Feb 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Boop by @jazmasta Jazmasta @jazmasta "Boop" - Zebra walking past a self service checkout. 04:37 PM - 16 Jan 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Tattoos Are Like Cats by @NotDeakins NotDeakins @NotDeakins Tattoos are like cats. You get one, then you have to get another, then you get more and more until you have to get rid of them using lasers. 08:39 PM - 12 Aug 2011 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Elephant Friend by @70Ceeks ceeks @70Ceeks Elephant: remember texting last night? Drunk: No E: Remember in college when u peed the bed? D: No E: Remember in '97- D: We cant be friends 07:30 PM - 17 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Otter Talks by @thhamilton Tom Hamilton @thhamilton Huge if true 12:41 PM - 21 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Search History by @AbrasiveGhost Alone Shark @AbrasiveGhost Search History: Cat armor Buy armor for cats Cat jousting tournaments How to stop armored cats Cat army how to stop national guard phone # 01:29 PM - 26 Apr 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Public Breastfeeding by @radtoria ghost mom @radtoria People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog. 02:07 AM - 21 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. For A Price by @tinydinosaurs Lt. L.T. Deer @tinydinosaurs "I can kill your husband.... for a price" 08:07 AM - 24 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Sad Cats by @PhilJamesson Philip J. Tweet @PhilJamesson WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another. 09:07 PM - 17 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. Koala Question by @sarcasm_inc Blank. @sarcasm_inc *wakes up in the middle of the night* can koalas even walk 03:44 AM - 13 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Spoilt Cat by @liz_buckley Liz Buckley @liz_buckley Sometimes I wonder if I spoil the cat, seeing him with his iPad, in his yurt. 08:18 PM - 21 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. Vet by @KyleMcDowell86 Rad Kyle @KyleMcDowell86 Vet: I'm afraid were going to have to put your dog down Me: Ok... Rex... Ur stupid Vet:Ur the worst Me:Ur a bad dog Vet: Nobody likes u 06:38 PM - 16 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. Deer Reflexes by @EndhooS GoaT FacE ThrillA @EndhooS I have deer like reflexes... "Don't you mean cat like?" [Hears a twig snapping in a nearby Bush] *just fucking bolts with incredible grace* 10:07 AM - 10 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. Meeting The Parents by @CrapTaxidermy Crap Taxidermy @CrapTaxidermy When you go to your Girlfriends parents house for the first time... 09:13 PM - 22 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. Second Date by @longwall26 Jason Miller @longwall26 I know it's only our second date, Susan, and maybe I'm moving too fast, but I'd like to buy your dog. 01:54 AM - 13 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. Pet burial by @thewritertype paul bassett davies @thewritertype Confuse future archeologists by burying your pets in elaborate military uniforms. 02:03 PM - 25 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. Excited by @_blotty heinous worm @_blotty When you meet a dog and it's a good dog and a hand has to hold your head up because ur so excited and you're a baby 07:23 AM - 16 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. Seaworld by @FrenulumBreve paul @FrenulumBreve [Seaworld] Look, that shark has a head like a big hammer [shark leans over glass enclosure] Look, that kid's got a nose like a frickin dildo 12:26 PM - 28 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 34. The sweariest animal by @MatCro Mat @MatCro The sweariest animal in Africa is the hippopottymouth. Closely followed by the fucking giraffe. 01:13 PM - 15 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 35. Parrot by @RuthePhoenix Ruthe Phoenix @RuthePhoenix Really worried about my parrot. He keeps saying "I can't go on. I hate my life." My roommate is too selfish to notice. Always busy crying. 01:16 PM - 08 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 36. Mortgage Adviser by @IncrediblyRich IncrediblyRich @IncrediblyRich Seems legit. 11:56 AM - 12 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 37. Gender by @jazmasta Jazmasta @jazmasta If you are unsure whether your kitten is male or female try this: - Tickle it - If HE laughs it's a male - If SHE laughs it's a female 09:46 PM - 18 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 38. Bear Tracks by @ceejoyner Ceej @ceejoyner Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we're all going to die out here. 02:34 AM - 05 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 39. Superior Intellect by @NicestHippo Nice Hippo @NicestHippo CATS: We got a lifetime of naps and belly rubs. What about you? HUMANS: Superior intellect C: Cool what's it for? H: Math and feeling bad 11:20 PM - 21 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 40. Janet by @MrLloydSpandex Lloyd Botters @MrLloydSpandex Janet, please, I know you're in there! Let's just talk this over! 08:30 PM - 17 Dec 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 41. Spider-horse by @pharmasean refriend beans @pharmasean Guys, be glad that spider bit peter Parker and not a horse. I mean could you imagine, could you even imagine. 07:43 PM - 16 Sep 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 42. Cat Tree by @zoebread bread @zoebread firemen keep harvesting my cat tree 10:46 PM - 25 Aug 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 43. Picture Of A Horse by @tinytwink Twinks @tinytwink Had a bad day? Life getting you down a bit? Take a look at my 4yr olds picture of a horse. You're welcome. . 08:38 PM - 01 Oct 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 44. Chased By A Giraffe by @AmberTozer AmberTozer @AmberTozer If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me 06:33 PM - 15 Apr 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite