You got: Congratulations! You can follow simple instructions!
Honestly, it’s really refreshing in this day and age to deal with nice people who can actually follow instructions without mucking things up. You deserve a pat on the back! Thank you so much for taking this seriously.
I bet you think you’re pretty goddamn funny, don’t you?
I asked you to do one simple thing, and you just had to go and screw it up. You couldn’t be bothered to take something seriously for five friggin’ seconds? I mean, you really need to learn how to follow instructions because this is how people get hurt.
Ugh, you’ve probably got a big stupid grin on your face right now. You disgust me.