Winter Wonderland Is A Giant Innuendo

Christmas is upon us. It's a lovely time of year, some say it's the most wonderful. Christmas, winter and holiday songs are usually religious and some are fun. Either way, we all enjoy the classics. But there is one song that, on the surface seems jolly, is actually filled with adult content.

When you think Christmas music, promiscuity doesn't come to mind right away. I guess "Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" sort of counts. But that's pretty PG compared to "Winter Wonderland." There's enough innuendos in that song to tarnish any pure, white snow.

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Just because there's a mistletoe doesn't mean it's okay.

Let's break down some of the lines, shall we? The beginning of the song isn't bad. There's mention of love with "We're happy tonight...He sings a love song." Pretty sweet, right? But then, it gets a tad risqué. They'll build a snowman and pretend it's some guy named Parson Brown. Why do you want an inanimate object to become someone? Perhaps for a little fun.

You frosty son of a bitch!

Now, for the big part. This Parson Brown guy asks if you're married. You tell him no but he can do the job for you. What? The job a significant other has of being there to please you in any way possible? Then you and this complete stranger start conspiring in front of the fireplace, probably about killing your current lover so you can spend the rest of your life with Brown

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Those bastards...

Sure we could look up the actual meaning of the songs and each line but there's no fun in that. It's good to have a wild imagination. Just, next time you're in the car with the family you may want to change the station unless you want to have an awkward experience. That song isn't as innocent as the melody suggests.

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I don't know what I expected.