1. It’s graduation day in Mystic Falls!
2. But the party’s about to be crashed by a shitload of dead people…
…who are led by Kol, King of the Dead People, ever since Bonnie dropped the veil.
6. Meanwhile, Bonnie’s still dead and wondering how she’s going to break the news to her friends.
This show is like, really dark. Literally and metaphorically.
7. And Dead Vaughn shows up at the Salvatore residence and shoots Damon in the shoulder with wooden bullets.
8. Thankfully, Drunk Stefan finished grooming his hero hair and saves the day.
9. But things are super peachy in the woods where Dead Alaric, Dead Jeremy, and No-Longer-Dead-Inside Elena are eating burgers…
10. Until Elena gets a phone call from The Grill and she assumes it’s Matt.
11. Unfortunately, it’s Dead Connor, who’s threatening to blow up the the grill (which is filled with family in town for graduation) if Elena doesn’t hand over Silas and the cure.
13. He blows up Mystic Grill anyway.
14. Speaking of detention, Matt is stuck on a wired plank in a parking lot that will cause some cars to explode if he steps off of it.
15. This comes courtesy of Rebekah’s scary and hairy ex-boyfriend Alexander.
16. He’s not too happy when Rebekah and Matt start talking about how they’ll travel to Italy together once they survive the contraption he’s worked so hard to set up, so he throws a dagger at Matt’s head.
Thank goodness for vampire reflexes.
17. Afterwards, Bex goes on an existential rant about living life and doing what you want to do. And then, she does this:
18. And by the time they’re done making out, she’s done some more vampire magic, switching spots with Matt on the plank of death so that he can go to graduation.
19. Dead Bonnie’s wandering the halls of Mystic Falls High and (SURPRISE!) heeeeere’s Katherine, who is not so pleased that Bonnie hasn’t fulfilled her promise of giving her Silas-like immortality.
20. Back at the Salvatore house, Elena surprises Damon. He makes this face.
21. He shows her that he has a little surprise for her:
23. Oh, and turns out those bullets Dead Vaughn shot at Damon weren’t just regular ole wooden bullets; they were laced with werewolf venom.
24. He tosses the cure at Revived Dead Vaughn and they go off into the woods to “find Silas.”
25. But when Vaughn realizes Damon was just stalling, he whips out his werewolf-venom-filled weapon again. It’s not looking good for Damon.
And no, that’s not a hickey.
26. Meanwhile, Dead Jer convinces Elena to go to graduation.
27. So Elena, Stefan, Elena, Matt, and Bonnie get all suited up for graduation and group hug in the parking lot.
28. They commence!
29. But there are some unfriendly faces in the crowd… Like Kol, who doesn’t want the veil to come back up.
30. Bonnie lures him into the high school and then, traps him in an invisible glass case of emotion, like she did with Klaus earlier in the season.
31. Back on the cliff, Damon’s barely hanging on.
Grab the cure!
<3 <3 <3 OUR HERO <3 <3 <3
33. He calls Stefan to figure out how to force Damon to drink the cure since Damon’s all about saving it for Elena.
34. But as Stefan, Elena, and Caroline are standing behind the bleachers mid-graduation to figure this ish out, the Dead Witches arrive and burn their brains or whatever.
36. Back at the Salvatores’, Damon takes off his shirt to prove to us and Elena that he’s fine.
Turns out, Klaus fed him hybrid blood, so no need for him to take the cure! (I don’t get it either, but here’s Damon without his shirt, for those of you who are into that kind of thing.)
37. Elena then asks Stefan for some 1:1 time. She thanks him for not giving up on her and gives him the cure, since, “The only person worse at being a vampire than me is you.”
Stelena fans, this is where you rage.
38. Back on the Mystic Falls High football field, Klaus gives Karoline hist graduation gift: Tyler can come back to Mystic Falls.
“He’s your first love; I intend to be your last, however long it takes,” Klaus says before kissing her on the cheek. Swoooooon.
39. In the mean time, Elena has approached the other Salvatore brother for some alone time.
40. He’s not sorry; but neither is she.
41. They kiss. A LOT!
DELENA FANS REJOICE!!!!!
42. And poor Stefan has vampire-eavesdropped the whole thing.
43. He decides it’s time to get rid of what remains of Silas so he’s going to toss him off a cliff with Lexi.
44. Damon is talking to Dead Ric about how he finally got the girl. And he makes this face:
But after he pours himself a drink, he realizes that Bonnie has put the veil back up and Ric is gone.
46. While Bonnie and Jeremy share a moment, she does some magic and brings Jeremy back to life before the veil goes up, but she still has to go back to the other side.
47. But on the plus side of the veil going up, Elena goes to search for Bonnie in the Mystic Falls High basement and instead finds Kol…
…Who lunges for her, but disappears mid-attack!
48. Unfortunately, when she gets up, she’s greeted with this familiar face:
51. Turns out — we learn via flashback — that Stefan didn’t take the cure from her earlier that night. So, she shoves it down Katherine’s throat!
“Have a nice human life, Katherine!” -Elena
52. Oh, and speaking of nice lives, Rebekah shows up at Matt’s (which is really Tyler’s) and they decide to make good on their daydreaming about a trip to Italy.
53. Stefan is now solo on the cliff with Silas’ body and when he drops it on the ground, he realizes it doesn’t sound like there’s a body in there. That’s because it’s rocks.
54. He hears someone behind him. It’s Silas, in the form of Elena!
55. Only SiLena explains that that’s not his actual form. And then we see his reflection in the window of Stefan’s car…
56. IT’S STEFAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
57. He shoves Stefan in a safe. And pushes him off the cliff.
58. R.I.P. for the 1032987102984721st time, Stefan.
The Vampire Diaries returns for Season 5 on Thursday, Oct. 3 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on The CW.
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