11 Steps To Block The Haters From A 2006 Episode Of "America's Next Top Model"

    This is not America's Next Top Best Friend.

    Ira Madison III
    by Ira Madison III

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Before Katy Perry blasted Taylor Swift on Twitter, before Soulja Boy taught us to turn our swag on, before Joseline Hernandez threw on her shades for the "hatin' ass bitches," there was JADE COLE.

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    Jade was a contestant in Cycle 6 of America's Next Top Model.

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    And in the episode “The Girl With Two Bad Takes,” Jade Cole shoots a CoverGirl commercial with the rest of the contestants. And what follows is a masterclass in dealing with haters.

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    First, for those of you who still, after all this time, don’t know the definition of a hater, let's explain.

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    A hater is a person who dislikes you or throws shade for no discernible reason. Someone simply disliking something you've said or done does not make them a "hater," it means they're critiquing you.

    As much as you'd like to respond "haters gonna hate hate hate," to any critique, that doesn't mean your opponent is a hater! Words mean things.

    So without further ado, let's dissect Jade's tips of the trade in shutting down haters, OK?

    1. First, you should look fabulous.

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    There's no use in challenging haters while looking like you're dressed for a Keri Hilson concert (Keri doesn't do concerts, so this means you're in sweats, watching YouTube. Not fabulous!).

    2. Clearly accentuate your positives.

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    This is to not only build yourself up, but to let a hater know what you're working with!

    3. Keep it real, but not too real.

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    You can definitely keep it 💯 and be yourself, but you should also make sure the spotlight is on you when you engage in shutting down a hater. Make sure the whole world is watching!*

    *Or at least the necessary players.

    4. Silence all distractions.

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    No time for cocktails! This isn't a reality TV sitdown!

    5. Let them know you are unbothered, dahhhhling.

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    You know the phrase "dance like no one's watching?" Fuck that. Dance like your haters are watching and let them stay pressssssssed.

    6. Acknowledge the kids!

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    "The kids" is a term gay men use to describe their community of gay men. If you are not a gay man, then acknowledge whatever community you belong to. These people are your friends. Basically, you're letting your hater know that you have plenty of friends and them being bothered by you has no bearing on your social standing.

    7. Let them say their petty little piece.

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    Your haters will usually consist of all the Petty Boops, Petty Waps, and Petty Lamarr's in your life, so when you confront them, be prepared — they will have plenty to say. Try not to blow a gasket, let them do their shows, tire themselves out, and wait your turn.

    8. Throw some shade.

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    Compliment anyone or anything but them. It's your time now, but let them know you're not even thinking about them and barely took the time to listen to what they said either.

    9. Take your time.

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    Wiiiiiind up for your clapback. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

    10. And then... get a good laugh in.

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    11. Because the best way to respond to haters? Be FABULOUS.

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    And pay them no mind.

    After you've reminded them that you >>>>> them, of course.

    Any questions?

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