How To Make The Most Of The Apocalypse

Keep on snacking ‘til the world ends. Duh.

1. So if the world really ended, it would be scary.

2. But if there’s nothing you can do about, might as well LIVE IT UP, right?!?

3. You see, there are right ways to spend Earth’s final day…

4. …and there are wrong ways.

5. So you need to make sure you do it right.

6. You could do it right by eating deep-fried butter.

7. Or a sandwich the size of a dog.

8. Or grease-slathered mini-wieners.

9. Or something with lots of bacon.

10. Or something with lots of chocolate.

11. Or something with lots of bacon AND chocolate.

12. Or bacon on a doughnut.

14. Or pounds of cookies.

15. Or a burger you can’t hold with one hand.

16. Or a burger you can’t hold with two hands.

17. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T EAT ANYTHING HEALTHY.

18. Because the end is near.

19. Which means things like diabetes and heart attacks don’t matter anymore.

20. So dig in.

Jaimie Duplass

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