How To Make The Most Of The Apocalypse

Keep on snacking ‘til the world ends.

1. So if the world really ended, it would be scary.

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2. But if there’s nothing you can do about, might as well LIVE IT UP, right?!?

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3. You see, there are right ways to spend Earth’s final day…

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4. …and there are wrong ways.

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5. So you need to make sure you do it right.

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6. You could do it right by eating deep-fried butter.

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7. Or a sandwich the size of a dog.

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8. Or grease-slathered mini-wieners.

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9. Or something with lots of bacon.

10. Or something with lots of chocolate.

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11. Or something with lots of bacon AND chocolate.

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12. Or bacon on a doughnut.

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13. Or pounds of sushi.

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14. Or pounds of cookies.

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15. Or a burger you can’t hold with one hand.

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16. Or a burger you can’t hold with two hands.

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17. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T EAT ANYTHING HEALTHY.

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18. Because the end is near.

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19. Which means things like diabetes and heart attacks don’t matter anymore.

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20. So dig in.

Image by Jaimie Duplass

21. Happy Apocalypse!

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