1. Wars are exciting, wonderful things…..color wars that is.
War, what is it good for, absolutely everything.
2. Otter pops are a monetary system.
“I’ll give you two oranges for a red.”
3. Camp counselors have the ultimate career.
Screw Wall Street. It’s all about watching kids 12 hours a day.
4. Fine art consists of finger paints, macaroni, and, on occasion, paper maché.
5. Counselors are often really sick* in the morning.
6. Choreographed cheers are part of daily life.
“Don’t stop believing, we love Camp Greenling.”
7. The kids in after-care are real cool cats.
**Their parents didn’t love them.
8. The kids at the pool that aren’t in camp are losers.
**Their parents actually loved them.
9. Running around the pool was a SERIOUS crime.
But stealing children’s snacks wasn’t. Nice one, counselors.
10. C.I.T.’s were your bitches.
Wait….no that one was real.
11. Camp was the best because it wasn’t school.
It absolutely was school. School with heavily extended recess.
12. Your skill at dodgeball decides your ranking in society….
if you work at a summer camp for the rest of your life.
13. Field trips to the zoo in 100 degree weather with 400 kids are fun!
As long as 8/10 kids return, it’s a win.
14. Winning the silent game gives you bragging rights.**
**It got you guys to STFU.
15. Kids who got to order fried foods from the camp cafeteria were soooooo lucky.*
16. Counselors act the same around you as they do around your parents.
“Kevin broke his arm? I’ll be there in a few.”
“Ummm, Mr. Stevens, Kevin hurt himself. I tried to stop it. Is there anything I can do to make it better?”
18. Pool time is the best time.
400 kids. 50 towels. 3 bottles of sunscreen. 1 life guard on duty. The dream.
20. People from camp don’t hang out outside of camp.
…besides the counselors…all.night.long.
21. At least the counselors know what they are doing.
One week of training turns a borderline alcoholic into the best child care $8 and hour can buy.
22. Your camp friends are FOR LIFE.
Or until summer is over.
23. But the one thing everyone was sure about was: at the end of the summer, you were all one big (screwed up), happy family!
- President Obama apologized to Doctors Without Borders for the airstrike that killed 22 people at a clinic in Afghanistan. ›
- The U.S. Coast Guard said it will suspend the search for the crew of El Faro, the cargo ship that went missing in the Caribbean during Hurricane Joaquin last week. ›
- Tomas Lindahl, Paul Modrich, and Aziz Sancar won the Nobel Prize in chemistry for figuring out how cells repair DNA. ›